Breaking up sucks, but I have to face it.

I was kidding myself to think my heart has "mended."

Date:   5/12/2005 10:28:12 PM   ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2033 times

I still feel uneasy in this relationship. Almost everything about it is pointing me in the direction of the door. But I'm reluctant to walk out of course, because I know I'll lose some comfort. But is it comfortable to feel hurt at least once a week? The more time I spend with him, the more it'll hurt to break up. He's happy with me, he says. But I know he's still looking, probably biding his time with a foreigner until a good Asian girl comes along.

IN: Yesterday--vegetarian tortillas, nigiri sushi, aloe vera juice, watermelon juice, wheat grass mix, tomatoe veggie soup. This morning--wheat grass mix.

OUT: Another mushy bm this morning around 3 a.m., and again around 10 a.m. Nothing too weird-looking.

FEELING: Physically feeling fine, but overshadowed by my aching heart. I have to be very careful not to go out and drown my sorrows at the pub tonight.

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