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Radical Forgiveness
This book has been out for sometime..It is true that our relationship with the world is the basis for what "others" look like to us
Date: 10/19/2005 9:15:13 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1716 times What Is Radical Forgiveness -
and Radical SELF Forgiveness
If they're RADICAL then they must involve more than just forgiveness, right? So, what's the difference, and how important is the distinction? Let me explain.
Traditional forgiveness is 'letting bygones be bygones.' And that's OK as far as it goes. However, because we believe that something bad happened, we still think of ourselves as having been victimized no matter how hard we try to forgive, It can only play itself out as a struggle between two conflicting energies; the need to condemn versus the desire to forgive.
The more you were hurt or damaged, the more the scales will naturally tip towards the need to condemn. Years of therapy will help of course, but so long as there is any residual regret - not to mention pain - true forgiveness will remain elusive no matter how much compassion we bring to the situation and no matter how much we try to "just let it go."
Not surprisingly then, it takes many years to achieve and cannot be forced. You cannot will it. With this kind of forgiveness, only time will heal - if it ever does.
RADICAL Forgiveness, on the other hand is virtually instantaneous, easy to do and can be achieved using some very simple tools. It requires no special knowledge, no special skill or discipline and, best of all, depends on no guru. It is not so much something we do; rather it is a spiritual viewpoint that we are willing to take.
RADICAL Forgiveness occurs simply as a consequence of our opening up to the possibility that everything happens for a reason, and there are no mistakes. If we could see the spiritual big picture (which we cannot), we would understand that the situation was Divinely guided and happened not TO us, but FOR us. It was meant to happen that way for the highest good of all concerned. Also, that our Higher Selves actually called forth the experience for our healing and our spiritual growth.
It is not a mind-altering technique or a moral stricture that one 'should' forgive, but is experienced as a shift in consciousness, or a movement of energy both within ourselves and throughout the situation itself, such that elements within the situation itself shift and change. Such changes begin to look like miracles.
When we understand that our life is unfolding exactly as it should and that everything is divinely guided, we find peace - even in the most 'unpleasant' of situations or memories. When we understand that our enemies really love us (at the soul level), our hearts open and we are released from the victim archetype.
That's the RADICAL Forgiveness Experience!
RADICAL Self Forgiveness happens in the same way - as a shift in energy. When we 'get it' that there are no victims, we realize that there are victimizers either - only players in the spiritual game that we call life, providing a myriad of situations for learning, growing and healing. We get to experience the meaning of our human 'imperfectness' - and come to understand the perfection in the imperfection. Then we are able to know the truth of this statement: "I'm not OK; you're not OK; but that's OK!
That's the RADICAL SELF Forgiveness Experience!
And yes, it does seem a 'high faluting,' esoteric idea in the abstract. But through his books and his workshops, Colin has been able to bring it down to earth and make it work in everyday life for ordinary people. He has made it simple, meaningful and practical so it can be used as a powerful way to heal personal, racial, community and corporate relationships.
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