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Day 2 of Dry fasting
The battle is not so much with the body as it is with my mind.
Date: 10/12/2015 12:28:13 PM ( 9 y ) ... viewed 710 times 11:44pm
Wow I am so grateful to have completed that first 24 hours. It is during this time that one can be most vulnerable to giving up. Well, at least from my experience. I say to myself that I can always start over tomorrow. Now there is nothing wrong with doing that if you ultimately do. Everyone has their reasons and far be it for me to judge that. However, my intention is to use this fast as an offering to God that it is my will to know His Truth. I am willing to lay aside all that distracts/detracts me from understanding The Truth. Whatever I can learn, whatever wisdom I may gain that I may be liberated from the false beliefs I have held on to.
You see I've spent my whole life studying the body. I've gone to school learning Anatomy, Physiology, Psychology, Neurology, Kinesiology, Microbiology, Nutrition, Holistic Studies, etc. And truly I can say that my body's health seems to elude me. There is always something that needs fixing. I don't feel anymore healthy with all this knowledge and experience. That is why this fast means different to me this time. I am willing to give up all that I think I know and be open to God revealing what really is The Truth.
8:30am
It's been 34.5 hours of dry fasting. Despite sleeping much of yesterday, I was knocked out from 1-7:15am. I could have slept more if I didn't have to get up.
I had a bit of a challenge 11pm to 1am as thoughts of ending the fast as I was tempted to just have some raw organic almonds. Well, I'm glad I didn't relent. A big thing to note is my inflammation is considerably reduced. The place I notice it most is in my hands. Last night before going to bed I already noticed an improvement and today I might say my hands feel totally normal.
Unfortunately, I am pretty darn irritable this morning. I have four kids. As many days as I've been getting them ready and off to school, this time my tolerance was basically nil and I had a minor mommy moment. I was just not wanting to be a mother and have to take care of other people's needs. A brief moment of insanity.
Right now as I am alone in the house, I recognize this is not what I want feel and I have the choice to see this differently and immediately feel better. I need to return to my lesson and meditate.
10:10am
34 hours officially.
I am so grateful to have this alone time that I am able to focus on getting out of the madness of being ego-minded and return to being Spirit-minded. The instant i am willing to give up investment into the thoughts that bring upset and replace them with my True thoughts that bring me peace and joy, I am reminded of the power my Father in Heaven bestowed upon me when He created me. Every moment I have the power to choose.
For a while I was tempted to seek comfort in food. I wasn't really hungry but it would seem to be the quickest remedy. Yet in fact I'm sure guilt and powerlessness would shortly follow had I started eating. Now, I have learned that food itself is "neutral" but my mind has attached it with thoughts that may bring up within me feelings of fear, worry, sense of lack, powerlessness, guilt, shame, weakness, etc. It is a strange thing indeed that my mind has endowed food with power that I somehow believe can create in me illness and suffering. I would like to be less identified with the body. For if I am convinced I am a body then I believe I am limited and at its mercy.
I am fasting so I can gain an understanding of my mind and why I feel this way about food/physical health and well-being. I want to be at peace with my body in whatever state my mind perceives it to be and at peace with food/eating. I find it is a preoccupation that I would like to be free of.
From A Course In Miracles
CH. 19 The Attainment of Peace
I. Healing and Faith
..."The body cannot heal, because it cannot make itself sick. It needs no healing. Its health or sickness depends entirely on how the mind perceives it, and the purpose that the mind would use it for."
There is a prayer later in the chapter that I like to use during this fast when I am struggling:
"Take this from me and look upon it, judging it for me. Let me not see it as a sign of sin and death, nor use it for destruction. Teach me how not to make of it an obstacle to peace, but let You use it for me, to facilitate its coming."
AMEN
4:10pm
I'm 42 hours into the dry fast. And feel that it is time to drink some water.
It's 90F right now. I felt the heat while out there when I had kid pickups and drop offs. Right now inside my home it is at 75F with A/C on but I feel my body temp elevated and my energy is low. Had some water. I will meditate and pray now.
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