What a day. Disaster and revelation.
What a morning!!!
Date: 4/10/2015 3:30:26 PM ( 8 y ) ... viewed 441 times
My mom is having her birthday party at a Chinese Restaurant tomorrow at 1pm. Actually, she wants us to spend the night there at her place tonight or tomorrow. So, first of all there is no way my family cannot notice me not eating. I'll be in some giant round table facing everyone. Everyone is going to notice I've lost weight already. I've got one of those bodies that 5lbs gained or lost is pretty evident. I'm Asian petite but muscular. The appearance of my face also makes subtle weight gain/loss evident. I saw my Aunt (Dad's side) today and she gave me "What happened to the meat on your body?" She actually knew I was water fasting. Now she wants to go on it. lol. She gets this stuff though. She introduced me to the Master Cleanse. We have this cancer gene on my Dad's family side so they're all very progressive in thinking with health stuff (Gerson therapy, coffee enema, etc). My mom, and others, are older ways in thinking. Another thing is that I don't want to torture myself feeling so conflicted and deprived. I exceeded my initial fast goal and completed 9 days. I broke the fast on day 10 so I just don't see why I need to make this an issue any further. I'm taking all the pressure of right now and just see Sunday as Round 2 day 1. (although technically it's altogher my 6th time to fast). I'm done ruminating about the what ifs. So onward with life. It takes my mind off the future and returns it to the present. How simple is that? I made it an issue. Now I make it a non-issue. BOOM! Done. BTW I don't want to weigh myself with this whole period thing. It just throws off my weight with the water retention. I don't want to drive myself crazy. As I have a propensity for analysis. Another Dad family gene =)
Okay enough blah blah blah. This has nothing to do with fasting but I have another experience to share. So I'd rather save you some time and let you abandon reading this if you are not interested on my irrelevant ramblings.
I had great quiet time this morning. More AHA moments reading ACIM. Strange thing happened. With everyone out of the house it was just me. Turns out both toilets were clogged. WTFlock? That's never happened before. First, my toilet almost never clogs because I am the one who uses it almost exclusively. Apparently someone used it this morning and clogged it up. So having to use the other toilet, I soon discovered that one would not flush properly. Here are the Good news and bad news. The good news. The other toilet unclogged itself with 3 flushes. WOOOHHOOO. The bad news, there was stuff in my toilet. I tried the flush thing. Waiting till it drains again. Flush, waiting till it goes down. I had to run to the gym so I had hoped time would work its magic on my toilet. I flushed again, waited again. This time, I didn't wait as long when I flushed again. What do you know. THE TOILET OVERFLOWED. Holy ****. That has NEVER happened in the 10 years I've lived here. I was panicked and didn't even know where the hell to begin. Needless to say, I turned of the water valve (or whatever you call that). Got rags and went on damage control mode. My Aunt was visiting and the whole time I was running back and forth finding rags and at one point stopped and prayed for help to know what to do as I was scanning my garage to find wet/vac and more rags. About a minute after my pause, My Aunt yelled hey I heard a glug glug. I think it went down and flushed. IT DID!!! Well, I spent the next hour cleaning the mess and disinfecting/bleaching everything. While I was cleaning that mess I had a moment of clarity.
When life , as the toilet, gets clogged up. It really isn't a problem. Delays do not equate to problems unless you perceive it to be so. I didn't have to keep flushing as often as I did. I could've given it more time to drain if I was just patient and keeping the faith. There really wasn't this rush or deadline. I had another working toilet. Instead I let my ego and wanting to be in control take over. Doing it my way! i had momentarily forgotten that God's way is ALWAYS the best way. Never done with force. When I stay present and aware and go with the flow (lol no pun intended) it works out for the best. I can be patient and trust God for His ways to resolve matters peacefully and in the best outcome for everyone involved. Or, I can do it my way, which means I'll be stressed, overwhelmed, and cleaning up sh#* and taking me longer to solve this mess. It could've all been easier if I just let go of having it done my way. Asking for guidance and trusting.
So okay maybe this might not be your interpretation. But that is the moment I had. I guess it had to be this way to have a lasting reminder when I put up resistance to what is and just let life flow. Clogs (delays) aren't problems in itself unless we make them be.
Okay why is it 1:30pm!!!!
I'm going to the gym for the second round today before I pick up my kids!!! I'm off.
Will update later.
Hit the gym and felt great. I did my sauna and got on the treadmill. I hit my fastest run (mind you it lasts 2-6 minute intervals). I got so pumped I went to 5.8mph 3 minutes without struggle. No pain in my right hip/knee/ankle. My right thigh was cramping up toward the 10th minute in.
Funny thing after the gym I saw this on newsfeed on my phone:
"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge."---Eckhart Tolle
Hahaha. I immediately thought of my toilet situation this morning. I love Eckhart Tolle.
Well, significant changes are taking place in my life as I've gone down the fast track of spiritual transformation. I don't know if I mentioned in any of my posts or other blogs. I gave up my career as a pediatric occupational therapists working with kids with disabilities. The passion with work disappeared after I started to see things differently. ACIM being the impetus of all of it. My whole life is about knowing the body and its functions and fixing it. My life purpose started leading me in the direction of healing the mind/spirit as the priority. This may sound crazy and even offensive to parents with children with developmental issues. Majority of home therapy I provided (non-medical mostly), I saw that the children where not so much the issue. They had no concept whether or not they had hit their milestones. They had no idea what limitations were until we adults defined for them that they were not up to speed. They were faulty. My job was to close that gap as best as possible. I enjoyed interacting with the children and educating the parents and found it satisfying up to a certain point. I had become unmotivated and felt as I was spinning my wheels. When I lose passion in what I do, it's basically a slow death from there. I need to be passionate with my work and feel a deeper more meaningful purpose to what I'm doing. A Divine knowing that drives me to pursue life to its fullest.
The last 5 years or so a voice keeps telling me to write. Share my truth in a book. Nothing fancy. Then Maybe go around guest speaking or teaching a class. Life skills class maybe. These ideas are all there but until I take the leap of faith completely and let the old go I can't start this new journey. Okay this week I need to finish out my office. Throw out all files related to my old career and business. I have to dissolve my corporation and deal with all the red tape with taxes and tie up lose ends. So Sunday cleaning out with fasting Day 1 and cleaning out my life!!!
Add This Entry To Your CureZone Favorites!Print this page
Email this page