Blog: Back to Myself - Summer 2015
by exposure

New Fast, New Year - Getting Started 2015

Start of a new fast & journey inwards.

Date:   1/14/2015 9:59:24 PM   ( 6 y ) ... viewed 667 times

Back again with a new fast and a new year...
It's Mid Jan, 2015, started this fast a day before my 40th birthday, now on day 4 - I had been wanting to do a fast since December, maybe earlier but circumstances didn't really permit me the space and now those circumstances are upon me with a span of time with few outward obligations and no travel for some time, so with the intention there the fast began rather spontaneously.
My last fast was just over one year ago and went for 60 days - quite an accomplishment! I worked very hard and achieved something really amazing with that fast, sadly however I was really attacked in a big way by someone who should have been a close friend not long after that fast had ended, this attack sent my 2014 into a real whirlwind, first of intense stress, anxiety, in the crisis this person put me in - and when a couple of months of that had passed and things had somewhat settled down, I got notice on the house I had been living in for over 6 years and had that to deal with.
So, long story, but 2014 consisted of this very nasty personal attack that took a huge chunk out of me when I was at a real high point in personal achievement and wellbeing! The guy is really demon infested to say the least & a little bit jealous and resentful... Some people - ugh. I'd been nothing but a friend to this person & they totally did the big dirty on me. Anyway... that and the other led to 2014 being composed of 3 massive house moves, very exhausting & I didn't accomplish my goals of starting an intermittent diet, etc or doing any other fasts up till now.
The gain was that I moved out of the city to paradise & now live in an amazing home in the forest, I love living here & it is reviving me. I could see myself buying this place with my boyfriend & living out many of our years here. I sorted out all the business problems this person caused for me & still have a good income in the city & a reason to visit it and friends once or twice a month - with the rest of my time here, a much better place to work on my music & look after myself & my spiritual practice.
So now I find myself here, finally really settled after a chaotic and difficult year that drained a lot of energy, in a place where I am safe & cared for & able to retreat now back to myself and regenerate the energy taken & spent.
Now at last it is time - I embark on a fast, or a feast for the soul, body & mind. Writing this is already reflective, there has been too much of this kind of attack and malice in my life from people who should be friends - It's hard not to become bitter. This emotional debris is another thing I need to work on, not to have my mind filled up with anger, resentment, negative thoughts - renewing myself now in this fast is very much about reclaiming. My health, my youth & beauty, my clarity & my joy.
I'll be doing a lot of meditation and yoga along with this fast, and working on really looking into these issues in myself and transforming habitual patterns of mind that have veered towards the negative back to who I really am, what I really aspire to - bringing the ideal and actual into harmony, a place where I can be as I aspire to and not in dissonance with that view.
This is a liquid fast, like most of my fasts, I'll be drinking water, teas, coconut water, kefir, milk, using jaggery or coconut sugar, and just closing the gates of digestion for some time to renew myself and my spirit. I don't have any time frame in mind, I'm just going to go with my spirit on this journey.


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