Day 1 Has began as of 1pm today
Date: 1/17/2013 12:34:57 PM ( 8 y ) ... viewed 781 times
There was a time in my life, probably about 4-5 years ago that I have been truly happy. I was blessed with many things, good job, health, friends and family. My childhood was not that pleasant, because I had to live with different people every year.
But when I turned 16, life seemed to be getting better and I felt like living for the first time. But when I turned 21 years old thing started going down in a dark path. I was closer to God before, I mean I thought of God more as of a friend, family and someone who was there for me always.
About 4 years ago I weighed about 150 pounds or so and was very happy, felt like I had a reason to live. But suddenly I have gained tons of weight and have this empty feeling.
When I reached 22 my weighed had increased to 200 pounds, I know I gained the weight due to depression. So I can say that my weight gain was a byproduct of my unhappiness. The reason why I am fasting is to find out why I am not happy, currently I am not happy because I have gained a lot of weight. But when I analyzed it further, I gained the weight due to something that has bothered me immensely.
I was a very happy girl once, I went out, did a lot of stuff, worked two jobs and went to school. But when I turned 23, I locked myself in my room for 8months and never left the house. I am not sure, what caused me to do that. In the time period when I isolated myself, I have gained an additional 60 pounds. I thought about committing suicide many times. Then I told myself I cannot simply just die like this. Right now I do not isolate myself, I go about doing everyday things, but still I do not have the same outlook on life, like I once had.
I hope by fasting, I can get some mental clarity. I came to realize that happiness is a state of mine.
My starting weight is 260
I am 26 years old female
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