Blog: My Calling
by Golden Aura

Letter to friend

A somewhat bizarre and seemingly unrelated chain of events occurred in my life. A single event tied everything together.

Date:   8/31/2008 4:54:45 AM   ( 14 y ) ... viewed 3122 times

Dear Koan,

Remember me? We met on an overnight cruise in Halong Bay. You later saved my life in Cambodia.

I’m sitting alone in a single-room flat in Wroclaw, Poland. My girlfriend arrived here, with me in tow, just over three months ago. We came to realize the potential of 'our great love'. But our love never managed to break the vicious circle that characterized our relationship from the very beginning: She wanted me to file for divorce, naturally. I wanted more time to forgive myself – when the affair started, my estranged wife attempted suicide: she lost consciousness in my arms, drug overdose.

“You cannot build happiness on the tears of others” her pious mother once said. It turns out she was right. Happiness seems to have eluded us.

Our love turned a blind eye when intense pressure from family and friends to resolve ‘our situation’ became suffocating. Our love simply forgot the beautiful dreams we once shared of a common future together – I desperately wanted the family that GOD denied my wife on at least three occasions. Over time, our love slowly wilted.

She's now 600 kilometres away with her family, pining over what could have been and lamenting the last two years of her life spent with a married man and his colourful bag of empty promises.

But Koan, I am really excited. Some amazing things have happened and I want to share them with you. What I want to tell you is something I am not able to relate to my closest friends or family. Although we only spent one evening talking on board the junk boat together, I trust you. I know you will understand me.

A bizarre and seemingly unrelated chain of events occurred in my life that led me to where I found myself one month ago – alone and wandering aimlessly through life. I was spending my days selling real estate – a field in which I have no experience, in a city I didn't know and using a language that is not my own. While details of my circumstances delivered with an exotic accent provided light comic relief for my customers, inside I felt empty, disillusioned.

A single event has tied everything together.

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