Day 19 and getting closer to my goal
We fall down, but we get up!
Date: 1/28/2008 9:35:39 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1416 times
Day 19 went ok but for some reason I have a desire to eat. I feel weak when it comes to the possibility of eating and I don’t know why that is. I thought I was through all that by now. I really want to complete this and I intend to make it thru.
I have to confess to you guys….yesterday my stomach was queasy and for hours I wanted to eat. All the craving I had for bad foods was coming at me.. nagging me. Finally I ate crackers, I was scared what it would do to my stomach but the feeling was so intense. I chewed so slowly and ground them up really good… but my stomach called right down. I felt much better. I am not ready to quit the fast but I have to make sure all is well with my body. I have never done a 30 day fast before so I don’t really know what to expect. The longest I have ever fasted was 4 days and that was not easy for me at all. Up until this point, everything has been ok but I had an ailment earlier this week which is not related to the fast but caused me to lose a lot of energy. There will be no more crackers for me for the next 30 days as I think my body is back in working order.
The coating on my tongue has lessened but there is one place where it is thick and I feels like something foreign is on it… I keep scraping it but it is still there and is very annoying!
The other thing is….my skin is still very dry even though I have been drinking more water now than I ever have in my whole life. I haven’t had a BM on my own… I hope I am not broken!!! Well.. I wasn’t working as well as I should have been obviously but.. .I have had no desire to go. (Yes, solid matter is still coming out.) I’ve been doing the enemas with great success but I have to make sure I am not being too harsh on my digestive tract so I take a priobotic and the Emergen-C.
I want to get thru this and increase my exercise. I feel lighter (especially after an enema) and the need to get active is always in the back of my mind. I am actually going to get on my treadmill once I have updated this blog.
I have been thinking much about transitioning my diet after this fast is complete to a more vegetarian diet. I have printed off a few recipes but I plan to talk to someone about how to shop for food. I am starting from scratch and I want to make sure that I stay focused. It is so east to eat badly and it is almost like you have to plan ahead and prepare in order to be “healthier.” My real estate broker and the owner of the colon care center I go to are both vegetarians so I can get some info from them.
I am ready to try something new. I have been thinking about oranges and apples at least which is good because I can’t remember ever craving a fruit or vegetable!
I am excited about this change, but I know it is going to take some will and courage to make it all happen. I must hold myself accountable.
Not too much happened today… I feel like I should have been more productive, but after working all night, I probably should have got some sleep…so I did.
I woke up and wrote in my journal, it really is a good thing because it gives you an oppurtunity to clear and be totally honest and naked with yourself. While writing i realized that what I desire most is balance in all areas of my life, and this fast is helping with that process. I want so very many things for myself but I realize I have to balance all of them. I have to balance work, play, planning, believing in myself, taking action, nurturing my body, and doing things that make me happy and doing things that will make me rich! I have all the people and tools in place right now to get where I want to get but am I willing to take the actions that will bring me the success I say I want. At the same time I ask myself, am I nurturing my soul? Am I fulfilled and completely happy?? That is where I am now...searching myself for what it is that I am really after in this time of my life. What will make my heart sing???? There is so much more to come....
Well… I will see you all soon….
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