Re: Unwanted Child as an Adult by Deborah Lockett .....

Date:   3/20/2006 11:29:36 AM ( 15 y ago)
Popularity:   message viewed 3697 times


Your insight is most stimulating and most appreciated! I want you! (that's not just a joke - I mean it genuinely).

I appear to be a case of someone whose mother used to want them and now doesn't. But that's only appearance.

Isn't it strange? Several times on the telephone, my mother (now 80) invited me to go and see her. Finally I saw my chance to travel from my home in Tenerife to England where my mother lives. I called her to arrange the appointment. This is how it went:

"Hi Mum, I'm coming back to England and I've got a day free to visit you."

"How are you going to get here?"

"With my husband in his mate's car. They will drop me off and go off somewhere on their own while I visit you".

"Sorry Debs, you can't come because I don't want your husband's mate to drive you here."

I was flabbergasted. I know my mother doesn't like my husband but she would not even have had to set eyes on him. She was taking things to extremes.

It SEEMS my mother doesn't want me. Or is there any other way to look at the facts?

OK, it's clear, my mother doesn't want me. BUT I KNOW she DOES want me!

Why do I feel wanted even though my mother plainly doesn't want me?

Because my knowledge and the facts are incontradiction. And my knowledge wins -- because I let it win!

I will always believe my mother wants me because I KNOW IT'S TRUE.

I do have the benefit of having been brought up by her. But even if she were to live to 100 or more and reject me more and more, I don't think I could ever stop believing she wants me. I simply know she does and I can't imagine what she could do to change that.

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