I am sure environment and fear have to be factors for my declining health but age is certainly one. One doctor told me I am like a car, the parts are getting older. Can I buy a new body? The Hollywood stars seem to do this.

I was doing fine all these 24 years as I raised my family or so I thought until I decided to go to doctors. I have never had the time or desire to go to them. When I found it was difficult to walk, it was time. I have no idea how I got arthritis or how it suddenly became so crippling. I have it in both my left and right knee.
I am wearing braces which gives me support when I walk. My insurance pays for physical therapy. The first place gave me heat therapy and electric shock (ouch). The young girls working there were very lazy and did not guide me through the exercise program. I recently found another place Aqua Exercise. In the warm bath and whirlpool I do a lot of exercises. It is not as relaxing as I thought as I have a Russian warden watching over me making sure I am constantly moving. The water could be warmer. I like it to be very hot. So one day a week I do what seems to be ballet barre exercises in their 4 feet of water and also do arm exercises with weights. As part of the program once a week I also go to their gym and work on all their machines. There are about 4 physical therapists in the room and they make sure I keep moving.

It is exhausting. It makes me think of my Dad exercising in his gym. I was feeling sorry for myself but this heavy Russian lady comes over to me and in a thick accent says "What do you expect you are post menopausal, you have had many children and your body is aging, it is to be expected that you have arthritis and osteoperosis, get over it, all you can do is learn how to live with it, you are not a young woman anymore."

She walks away leaving me these words to digest. I look around most of the people in this room are in their 70's and 80's I am the young woman in my 50's and I am falling apart. With determination I try to work harder I stop for a second to catch my breath and then I get "What you are resting, tired already or are you feeling sorry for yourself. I think you should do 20 more lifts on each side and then she adds more weights to the machine."

On the same day I treated myself to a visit to the dermatologist to get ready an ugly wart on my finger; it looked liked something from the wicked witch in a fairy tale. I have had it for years. The doctor says to me this won't hurt. He takes out a razor and slices off the top to do a biopsy, but the skin flies in the air and he can't find it. His assistant and he look everywhere (this reminds me of a Woody Allen movie) It should be really funny, but then he says sorry we will have to do it again. Another razor and then another slice. Ouch! I start to howl.

The Russian lady (therapist office is right next door) walks down the hallway and sees and hears me and peers into my room says "What's your problem?" Then the doctor gives me a bandaid and tells me to come back in 2 weeks. Maybe I should have just sliced this suc*** off years ago and then taken a swig of rum. I used every wive's tale there was to take it off naturally including duck tape on my finger for 6 weeks. Yesterday I went to the gum specialist. That is another ouch. After 45 minutes of what she called scalings with many tools like hooks and screw drivers she begins; there is an amazing amount of grinding noises I feel like my teeth are going to fall out. She tells me we are almost done. I think great I got through it. "Good, that was the left side, next week come in and I will do the right side."