1978,
Failure is simply a word. Failure: lack of success. Success: accomplishing intended purpose. Occasionally we get lucky, but most of the time we experience difficulties, setbacks, failures while striving to achieve a new goal. These "failures" are all part of the process. Lesson: a unit of instruction. Break down any task or goal and you will find lessons(failures) learned and applied to reach success. Remember your first bicycle? How many times did you fall(fail) before learning the lesson of balance?
You seem defeated... remember failure is only a word. The feelings you are experiencing are also part of the process which will lead you to success. Try to rest today gathering your strength and thinking about the lessons you have learned so far. What are your assets, strengths, and weaknesses?
There are lessons to be learned from others success in this forum. If you aren't getting support from home, you know there is a cheering section here whenever you need it. Use your resources. I have the Black and Decker citrus juicer zoe mentioned. It works great! Ensure you have the tools and ingredients necessary for success. Try to find a farmer's market. This time of year they are usually less expensive and have terrific, fresh produce. Giving up ensures you will never achieve your goal. Colleen