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Blog: The Master Cleanse Express
by Zoebess

67 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 963,224 times
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  • The Master Cleanse Express by Zoebess
    • Calibration by Zoebess  17 y
      • 100 yards to the outhouse   by  detour     17 y     1,094
        Subject:   100 yards to the outhouse
        Username:   detour     contact detour
        Date:   6/4/2006 2:34:48 PM   ( 17 y ago )
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        By Willie Makit
        Illustrated by Betty Won't

        Remember that book?

        I had the same thing happen on a plane!

        Right at take off...

        I told the stewaress I have to go...she said not now, til the plane stablizes....uhg

        As soon as the seat belt light went off I beelined it to the lav. Unfortunately someone else beat me to it..."come on cheeks...hold together!!". I turned strategically for the other bathroom and sadly, caught a glimps of someone else's butt entering my last hope and closing the panel door. I figured I had to stay where I was ... it was unbearable...I couldn't hold on much longer. I was using muscles that even Michaelangelo didn't know about...I started pounding on the door...I didn't care about courtesy or politeness any more God damn it..."Open the f-ing door...what the hell are you doing in there, writing a novel? COME ON!!!" Finally the door opened, I yanked the poor bastard out , tossing him into a stewardess pouring some coffee in the aisle.

        Like artistry, like a fine combination of a seasoned ballet dancer and a Yoga Yogi...they way I shut the door, pulled down my jeans, sat down...all in one 'fluid' motion...pure bliss. I'm sure I set off the smoke detector or one of the plane's sensors.

        That was one of the 'lucky' times Z, and I'm glad you were lucky this time!!!
        Many of us aren't always so fortunate...yet it's those last second craps that
        are always the best. I think the more you can hold it in, the better the flush.
        We should have a blog just for the looks on the faces of that stage. I don't think it's ever been done.

        lava and aloha...d

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