I am concerned for you, ren. Bulemic episodes--so you can fit into your wedding dress? is it worth your health--physical, mental, emotional? why not get a wedding dress a size larger than what you usually wear, or see if the seams on the one you already have can be let out, so you can eat all you want and enjoy it, and not worry about it being too tight on your wedding day? your fiance will love you even with some extra pounds--he's already committed to marrying you as you are! this may not be the time to try and keep your weight down, especially when you are stressed. your cursing, not your usual mode of communicating with your fiance, is a sign that things are out of hand stress-wise for you. diet after the wedding, after the honeymoon, in a safe way. take some time for yourself away from the family and your fiance if they are stressing you--even if you have to leave the house and turn off your cell phone--go to the local park, or a large body of water (I don't know where you live--is there a lake, river, or even a stream nearby?) and relax, meditate. spend some time in nature enjoying Spring. Love yourself.

Love, Liora