Ren, your story and letter touched me very deeply. 

It is so extremely apparent the love you have for your man is deep, profound, pure and beautiful in its nature to want to protect and nurture.  I can relate to your man's feelings of less-than-love for himself concerning his failing eye sight, as I am deaf and have been since I agreed in spirit form to come into this life without hearing to learn soul-deep lessons.

There are powerful spiritual gifts beneath your man's struggle to deal with this eye dis-ease.  There is a lesson there that will give him beauty and peace should he discover what it is.  But first he must get beyond his fear and rejection of self. His rejection of self is based upon his perception that his self is less than perfect, whether in beauty or function.  If he can go beyond the superficial he will find a gift that will uplift his character, his spirit, alter his mind-think and it will be lasting in that he can pass this down to his children and no one can ever take such a gift away.

My story is long and I probably should not share it here if only because it will inspire more questions than answers.  But I will share that I have no doubt I am deaf because there are extremely valuable lessons for me to learn, through the terrible experiences of feeling and being abandoned and unloved by my mother and birth family, through the experiences of dealing with people who are far less compassionate and understanding than my deafness needs, through the fact that I've missed  the sounds of birds while the sun rises, the laughter of my children and grandson, the way my husband says my name, MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC, the purr of my Warrior Cat, Magellan, the sound of a perfectly tuned engine in a Mustang, an Eagles concert, the crackling of lightening,  the burbling of a brook... I've missed it all.   I understand the sorrow of that.  And I understand your man's fear of his sight taking away all that he knows.  But I also know the gift that's there... lurking beneath the shadow of grief and loathing.  He needs to find that. 

It's ironic in a way, my husband was a stutterer when we met.  And I am a Lip Reader (as opposed to Signing).  He couldn't talk and I couldn't hear, but we had/have no problems communicating.  That's where the heart of a relationship lies: Heart-felt communication.  Because I am a LIp Reader, this helped my husband to improve on his speech and now, after 20 years of being together, he speaks with almost no stutter.  Unfortunately, I am still deaf.  I say unfortunately for the hearing world's sake. 

For me, it's a way of life. 

I thank you for sharing your letter and I pray for both of you to find a balance individually and collectively. 

Know you are in my thoughts and my love flows to both of you.

(((((REN)))))

~ Dazzle