Julie,

"snoring is definatly worse if alcohol or cigarettes or if really tired"
Well, you hit it on the head. What I teach my patients is that Sleep Apnea is all about: Upper airway Obstruction
Upper Airway Colapse
Upper Airway Relaxation which is what you are describing above. Anything that "Relaxes" you before bed will make the Apneas worse such as drugs, alcohol and even great sex. Some can clear the snoring and Apneas with "Lifestyle Changes" however physical characteristics like large neck or tongue might mean that lifestyle changes won't be enough.

With your family history of snoring I suspect that lifestyle changes may not be enough. Although not all snorers have Apneas, not all Apnea sufferers snore or are overweight. However if you are overweight and snore than ruling out Sleep Apnea would probably be a good idea.

Don't look at just one or two symptoms. Look at your overall health and symptoms such as tiredness, amount of total sleep and any other symptoms of sleep deprivation. You are young with huge reserves of energy you don't know about that can mask poor sleep quality for years.

Many of the ppl I see have been dealing with their symptoms for 30 or more years while able to ignore or hide the signs. Be honest with yourself and if you think this might be an issue than get a consult.

Good luck,
Snuzin