Dear sister; I will post very soon on this aspect of who are you ( or who I AM)?? This will be a first person search and development discussion...  This is the important question to answer....   Watch for it soon...   Mean while stop, and try to get your mind off the destructive  and abusive patterns of thought... 

Think of yourself as a wonderful person who is loved....  We love you, and most important GOD loves you... You are special, beyond your wildest belief...  So think on love, and do not associate with those who would keep you in bondage... you are far above anything; that these boy friends or others who just want to control and use you...  Steer clear of these people...  Love is the key; Dear Lady....  We are here for you...     See Ya.. K