My experience is that there are two kinds of "self-love" and one of them isn't really love at all so I won't go into that one, and the other is a true nurturing of self. When I nurture and love myself, that is when I am CAPABLE of truly giving something meaningful to others.

A preacher once told me something intriguing when I confessed to him that someone near and dear to me -- and who is a very wonderful person -- is also an atheist. He said, "Atheists are sometimes better than Christians! I'll put it like this: Christians will do something good for others so they will go to heaven, whereas Atheists will do something good for others because it just seemed like the right thing to do."

Point is, I would rather receive from others because it is a truly feeling from their hearts rather than because they're trying to "score" with God. The former feels (and I think is) so much more genuine.

I believe that it is the very NATURE of the human heart to be kind, generous and helpful to others. Therefore, I also believe that nurturing my own being -- which may be perceived at times to be selfish to others -- is not so stingy as it may appear on the surface. Because when I give to myself (loving inner parent to frightened inner child; meditate; etc.) then what I have to give others is a natural outpouring. It is totally genuinely given because that is the nature of the heart. And I listen to my heart and when it does not want to give, there is usually a very good reason. Other times I find myself offering what others sometimes consider to be very self-sacrificing -- but to me feels like no sacrifice at all, because I am only following my heart, and that feels good, and fulfilling.

Peace

Michele