I know you might not like hearing this, but my first feeling is that if thoughts of calling off the wedding make you feel happy it may not be the wrong decision. Any chance that if you called off the wedding you could have a party instead?

One thing about relationships that I realize more and more and more as I live and learn, is that they affect us more than we give them credit. Geez, just having a houseguest for a few weeks with problems without being emotionally involved with him, (him sleeping on the couch), all his problems started becoming my problems. This happened again and again to me with different people -- whether houseguests or boyfriends. Their problems become my problems. I have to ask myself before becoming enmeshed with anyone else's life, "I am ready to take this on? Will it be to my overall benefit, or to my detriment?" I have learned that sometimes I just have to let go, for my own well-being and sanity. What good can I do another if s/he brings me down and makes me feel bad and worried or hurt all the time? When that happens I know I am not helping them, and they are not helping me.

Money is just money. It's nothing compared to the heartache and emotional and mental anguish of marrying the wrong person -- and end up kicking yourself because you saw the red flags before it happened.

I don't know you or your fiance, and I really do hope it will work out for you, if that is a real possibility. I wish the best for both of you. I just want to say to please give yourself permission to do whatever you know in your heart is what you need to do for your own survival. When it's coming from a real place, saving yourself doesn't mean you are hurting another -- though they may see it that way. In reality you are providing an example to them of taking care of yourself and honoring yourself and respecting your own feelings.

Big apologies if this is just agitating for you to hear and of no help whatsoever. Whatever you do I wish you much and lasting happiness!!!!

Hugs,
Michele