Hi, Ren,
It is Monday morning and I am having a hard time getting going.
I was up a lot during the night with tons of inspirations.

I am tired now and Rebecca imagines it is possible to get up to Jensen's
with an out of town friend and ally to keep an appointment to see that land
for sale.

I am sitting here in Seal Beach and feeling a need to regroup after
the most stunning of life changing weekends.

Venting is good.

It is so much more healthy to express your beautiful Starchild self in all ways
necessary.

Do not hold back. It creates more buried feelings that just turn into the very addictions you would like to grow through.

I do not like to give advice when my friends are venting.

Dr. Jensen says two things to not give unless asked: Salt and Advice.

I do want to support you in venting.

My experience is that I leave imcomplete communications thatI bury they go into my body memory, leaving less and less space for the flow of life.

I can give you an example.

Yesterday, I was driving down Century Blvd near LAX airport. I was having
this incredible experience that I will write about as soon as I get up to speed
here and focused.

For two days, when I passed this same area of Century Blvd, my body kept remembering the drive her with Christina more than 35 years ago. I had
picked her up from the airport from Mexico. She went to have an abortion.

That issue is up for me now, and my body is unstuffing those imcomplete
emotions. I never got them out of my system.

Maybe it is coming up because I am 57.

Every time I see a little child or a parent with a child, I have this sadness
and yearning. Now I am in touch with how different my life would have been
if that child had been born.

I have been thinking, I want the experience of being pregnant with a woman
who I love. I want the experience of feeling her belly growing. I want the experience of the warmth lying in bed next to her. I wantto have a baby,
although I am scared of all the responsibility involved.

In any case. please keep expressing your beautiful self.

This keeps us connected and empowered to live our life.

Don't bury those feelings.

Breakdown lead to breakthroughs when you keep writing,
and you are a beautiful soul and a beautiful woman
and a beautiful writer.

Your Enchanted Gardener