VCH I can hear that you are very distressed and I wish I could take away all of your problems and worries. Are you able to take on board that everyone has parasites - even your husband before he met you? I think you will get better. I say this because I am better after a hideous scattering event and being full of all kinds of parasties (and still am) - and life did eventually return back to "normal", and I am now living with my parasites without them troubling me too much. You just need to hang in there, don't do anything rash like take your life and believe that your gut can be healed and your parasite load reduced.