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Blog: Floating the Abyss
by SoulfulSurvivor

44 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 545,000 times
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  • Floating the Abyss by SoulfulSurvivor
    • The "Sex Factor" by SoulfulSurvivor  11 y
      • Re: The "Sex Factor"   by  #68716     11 y     1,236
      • Re: The "Sex Factor"   by  #68716     11 y     1,143
        Subject:   Re: The "Sex Factor"
        Username:   #68716
        Date:   3/30/2011 2:14:10 PM   ( 11 y ago )
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        The first priority was outward appearance of affluence: starched shirts, expensive footwear, a Porche 914 that he couldn't afford to maintain, and being a well-read and educated man. The sexua| prowess was an illusion just as much as the superficial charm and affluence.

        Of course, the full extent of the former abuser's perversions was never known, thank heavens, but he was one warped puppy. His perverse view of sexuality and women, particularly, ramped up only after we were legally bound by marriage. Of course, he dropped numerous clues to his true nature prior to the marital contract, but I was "The Only One" that he could trust, love, and that could help him reach his true potential, so I overlooked (DENIED THE TRUTH) his "minor" flaws and chose, instead, to believe the illusion that he had created for himself.

        He used my physical strength as a weapon, as well, often saying that my strength allowed me to "take it," whatever physical abuse was being doled out. "THAT didn't hurt you! You're just as stong as I am," was almost a mantra.

        Constant sexua| reference and innuendo was another clue, especially when it was in reference to me and/or other women. He once made an extremely ugly remark about my riding horses as being an indication of my subconscious need for a huge penis - after all, "Horses are the biggest phallic symbols." He also suggested that my friends with whom I rode and I were engaging in some type of mass self-gratification by asking, "Do you ever (orgasm) when you're riding?" After the marital contract, his remarks reflected a deep seated propensity for violence and hatred for women by saying straight up, "All women fantasize about being raped."

        When someone makes comments like the ones above, they are called, "glib." When someone loses a child to SIDS, it's appropriate to express empathy for their loss. It is not appropriate to respond with, "That's too bad, but she can make another one and have fun doing it," or, "She didn't need a kid, anyway."

        Glib remarks are one of the many screaming, flapping, waving red flags that demonstrated that the abuser FIT THE PROFILE of a malignant narcissist, along with his perpetual inappropriate sexua| references.

        My personal belief is that ALL abusers (men AND women) are either malignant narcissists or full-blown sociopaths. The reason that I believe this is because nearly every abuser I have ever encountered refuses to take responsibility for the damage that they inflict. One. Local man who shot his wife dead excused her murder because, "She was gonna leave me, take my kids, and leave me with nothing! If she hadn't filed for divorce, she'd still be alive!" No, wrong answer. He shot her because HE COULD, and that's the bottom line. Abusers inflict damage because they can.

        Brightest blessings!

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