Hi Rawrnr,
I can't believe you have not had any comment along your journey, so I want to encourage you! Well done for all you have achieved, really!
Now for the anger, emptyness etc... I suggest you may be owning them too much, as in making them your own, which is exactly what they want: to be alive those feelings have to find a terrain that will feed them. Your very sad past and your firy personnality make for a good terrain. Sure, those feelings and emotions are real, but what about trying to just accept them, recognise they are just your misguided ego or the devil etc... just trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Stay quite and still for a while, Give yourself enough time to feel loved by god by the planet, the ground that carries you ..., let those bad feelings pass and go, respect them and wave them good bye as they do not belong to you.
Your very sad past is why god, why the planet, why we love you so much (when you think of people suffering you love them infinitely and want to protect them, right?)
Your firy personnality is why you are so special: you are energetic, brave, perseverant, capable (all this sticking to your exercise routine takes will-power!), and whatever else you know your talents are!
Hope this helps. We are all in the same bag as you anyway.