My heart goes out to you. When the "learned" and "accomplished", the pompous elites with their big expensive degrees combine forces to redefine your reality to the rest of the world, that's when suffering takes on a whole new meaning, not to mention all the good intentions of the innocent. Baptism by fire, that's the real baptism. May all your suffering drive you in the right direction. Darkness hates the light, & in the light, there is safety. Good luck.