|I've been doing some more reading/studying about energies; what they are, how they manifest, how to control what you allow into your 'bubble,' etc., and the reason is, ever since childhood, I've been sensitive to other peoples' emotions, and have been able to pick up on things going on with everyone around me, and just 'around me' in general. It's hard at times to separate other peoples' 'vibes' from what belongs exclusively to me. Well, we moved to our current house about three years ago, and from day one, there've been strange things going on. Here are some of the things that have been happening.|
The first week here, my oldest daughter saw blue orbs in her bedroom and refused to sleep there for over a year. On another occassion, she saw birds flying around her room- black birds, at least that's how she described them. I have three kids, and all of them are sensitive to things like I am . . . My oldest, who is currently 13, has always been able to sense things around her, but since moving here, it's gotten worse, for lack of a better word. She's seen what she calls shadow people throughout the house. She's been touched by something that wasn't there, and has seen a little girl in an old-fashioned blue dress and shoes, with long, dark hair, wandering throughout our house. There's more but that's the main stuff.
My son, who is 12, has seen red eyes glowing in the dark in his room. He's seen a lady, who I think is my deceased step-mother, but I'm not sure, walking into his room and into the girls' rooms. He's seen a man with a brown top hat in the mirror and when he was three, he spontaneously recalled what seems like a past life as a fighter pilot in the war. He said he was killed by a sword to his lower back. Funny-- no AMAZING thing is, he has a birthmark there, about a quarter inch wide and about an inch and a half long. Coincidence? He told me his name, the year of his death, and everything, though he was only three years old. I don't know what to think of that, so I just don't think anything-- no conclusions, just keeping an open mind about it.
And my youngest daughter, since moving here, has seen so many things, to write them all down now, would take a long time. Very soon after moving in, she saw a girl standing in the basement, watching me, while I did some writing on the computer. The girl looked as 'human' as anyone. She had long, dark, curly hair, was wearing jeans and a red t-shirt and was smiling at me, then smiled at her and disappeared. She also saw the girl with the blue dress, sitting in the kitchen. On another occassion, she felt like she was being pulled out of her bed. She was in a lucid dream state, and in the dream she saw the source-- it was a black shadowy figure. When she awoke, she was half way off her bed, and her blankets were gone.
As for me, I've always tried to be openminded about this stuff, because I don't know what it means, or what it is. One night, I was cleaning the basement, doing laundry, etc. I placed a candle on a stand and carried on vaccuming. When I turned around, the candle was upright on the floor. I put it back on the stand, thinking I must have somehow knocked it off, only to see it back on the floor a few moments later. Once, while washing dishes, I had the distinct sensation of being watched. I tried to ignore it, thinking I was just being dumb, but then something squeezed my shoulder. Very freaky! Another time, I was doing some writing on the computer-- had a blanket wrapped around me, and suddenly, the blanket was tugged. There was nothing around me- no cats, or anything- I have ten cats and two dogs.
And now for the really creepy events of the past while: The other night, while my husband was sound asleep beside me in bed, I was surfing the net on my laptop, because I couldn't sleep. All the lights and the tv were off, and everyone was asleep. Again, I had the sensation of being watched, but again, I ignored it. All of the sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red 'light' hovering over my husband. I looked directly at it, and it seemed to be 'scanning' his body or something, for lack of a better way to put it. I watched it for some time, then it came and hovered close to me and finally disappeared. The next day, my husband came home sick from work, something he never does. He was pale and looked absolutely drained.
That same night, he flew into an inexplicable rage about nothing, and upset the entire household. It just wasn't 'him' whatsoever, and we all knew it. In fact, the kids said it almost looked like his eyes were red. As quickly as it happened, the rage subsided and he was so exhausted he passed out for the rest of the night. It scared the crap out of all of us. The next day, I told him about the red orb hovering over him . . . he looked at me like I was one serious nut case, but then he confessed he'd ordered a book of magic stuff online and had received an amulet with the package, the same day of the orb thing. Coincidence again? Well, I convinced him to get rid of the amulet and burn that book, which he did. We bought some sweet grass and smudged the whole house out, from one end of it to the other, even the property.
Am I nuts for thinking there's something much bigger than 'me' going on here? I just don't know. I'm certainly no expert in paranormal activity, though, like I said, I've experienced many phenomena since childhood. Since we smudged the house, the atmosphere has brightened a lot. The kids aren't afraid to sleep in their own rooms anymore.
So, I'm searching for answers about what all this could mean. I know that there are things beyond our ability to even come close to understanding, and that sometimes, the best you can hope for is that it simply stops.
As a kid, I saw the ghost of my sister, who died of leukemia. On three occassions, I awoke to see her standing at the end of my bed. That was amazing-- happened about two months after her death. I was 7 or 8 at the time. She died at age 10. Ever since I can remember, I've had out of body experiences, mostly during the lucid dream state, but they've always been downright terrifying. It's like being sucked by some kind of force I can't explain, right out of my body and taken somewhere ... but where? I just don't know, except that it always seems like a demon infested, totally evil place.
Before moving here, we lived right on a lake. One night, I looked out the window and saw a huge UFO hovering over the lake. Luckily for me, there were other witnesses to the event. My best friend saw it and so did my husband and my oldest daughter. It was a humongous white light, about 150 feet long and maybe 75 feet tall. It hovered there for some time, then zoomed off into the sky, getting smaller and smaller as it 'departed.' I would likely be questioning my sanity right about now, had there not been the other witnesses.
Some days later, during a lucid dream state, I saw a horrifying figure of what seemed to be a grey alien in a black cloak hovering over me. Its face looked disgusting-- wan and lifeless, with big, black eyes. Next thing I know, I'm being 'sucked out of my body' by the feet, but fought it with everything in me. I forced myself to wake up and it stopped. Absolutely terrifying.
What does this stuff mean? Should I check myself into the nearest looney-bin? I'm sure some would definitely think so, and even I wonder, sometimes, what the heck this is and why it keeps on happening to me, and to my kids, too. I guess the answers are out there, but where?
I've felt so drained. It's like even talking sometimes, takes so much effort, it hardly seems worth it. I don't know if it's a physical thing-- if my iron's low again, or what, or if it's something else . . . like being vamped by something, considering I really am an empath, and can't be around too many people without feeling drained. I just don't know what to think of any of this, but I do think there really is something 'weird' going on. There's all sorts of explanations online, from every viewpoint, but does anyone really know?
My late mother, my aunts and my mother's parents, have all experienced 'supernatural' phenomena. Some of the stories are unbelievable . . . but according to them, they occured, nonetheless. My sister swears that as a child, she actually saw aliens in her room, and that she's been abducted. Of course, the first thing we all think is that she's bonkers! But to this day, she maintains that it happened, and her story hasn't changed one iota.
Well, thanks for listening to my strange ramblings. I hope to get to the bottom of this some day, and in the meantime, I'm trying to learn how to protect myself and my kids-- my husband, too, from psychic leaches from the great beyond. Like I said, though, I just don't know what to think of any of this and I'm not drawing any conclusions. Maybe we're all just freaks of nature . . . lol
Some more thoughts on the above:
For one thing, I should say, I have no religious ideas . . . at least not anymore-- at least not consciously. I used to be a Christian but after extensive study on the religion I was indoctrinated with, I changed my mind. To each their own, but for me, it doesn't answer my questions. In fact, in studying world religions, and mythology, it's clear to me that most of the origins of 'doctrine' stem from ages old myths, based on fear of the elements, like fire.
On the subject of God, I keep an open mind, because honestly, I no longer have a clear idea of who or what 'God' even is. It depends who you ask. If I were raised Muslim, chances are pretty high that my concept of 'God' would come from the Koran, and my image of God would be Allah. If I were raised Buddhist, the same would be true-- Buddha would be my 'God' idea. And so it is with any religion. If I were raised on a deserted island, without any influence from any religous group, would I even consider a 'God' of any kind at all?
So, like I said, I keep an open mind. If anything, 'God,' to me, is a word used to describe a power we all inately know exists, but never can agree upon. It's as individual as there are people.
I thought I'd mention this, because just like I have no idea of who or what 'God' really is, besides a power higher/greater than myself, yet something running through my veins, nonetheless, I have no idea if the things I've seen and sometimes fear, are even evil, per say. Maybe it's my mind's way of putting emotions, or whatever, into picture form . . .? Our minds are so intricate, and humanity, as a whole, is so multifaceted, that it's no wonder there are so many names and faces for good and evil.
This is where I am, at this point in my journey. If I believe in anything anymore, it's in karma-- that whatever we give, we get back, somewhere, somehow, therefore, we should always try not to judge others, or even ourselves, and to love others AS ourselves. In other words, I believe we should cultivate love of self, above all, for the simple reason that when you love yourself, and accept yourself for exactly who/what you are, you won't tend to hate anyone else very readily. After all, don't we hate in others what we can't stand about ourselves? If we judge ourselves, won't we be much more inclined to judge others?
Regardless of its true origins, I believe in the golden rule becuase it makes sense to me. Who condemns others, but those who are themselves condemned? And who can be condemned, unless they're self-condemned?
The way I look at what I've experienced, there IS an explanation for it all. I just don't know, or claim to have the foggiest idea of what the explanation is.
To each their own . . . and to each individual experience, I think the only answer can be found within each individual . . .
Did that make a shred of sense?