- Why am I doing this? by Finding_Myself
17 y
2,116 2 Messages Shown
Blog: Finding Myself, my Journey Within...
Well, my first question when I start something like this is what am I doing & why am I doing this? What on earth would possess my mind to think of not eating for several days & to drink a lemonade drink?
First off, I have been feeling terrible. Sure you ask someone how are you? of course they say good, ok, fine, etc, ok I have said that. Deep down, nope, no I am not fine. I can honestly say this is the worst I have felt in my life, its the worst I have looked in my life. I am the biggest I have been in my life (You can only blame the laundry shrinking so many times & people catch on!) My body & soul are unhealthy, it's plain & simple. I am constantly exhausted, my skin is absolutely terrible, my gums aren't well, my hair is thinning, I am blah, honestly? I feel like Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh. Yup, my body is wanting some attention from me & its telling me it needs some help. When someone says Good morning, how are you? what am I to say... "If it is a good morning, which I doubt...." but of course that's not me to say that...
I did the MC a few years back, I tried many times, only once I achieved my goal, the other times I tried but didn't kick myself for not making my planned times - just like this time, if I don't make it, its not the end of the world, every day is a learning process in the journey.
I remember after I did it before, I felt great, I ate great. I went through a period in time where I only drank Soy milk, had fabulous greens & steamed veggies, no beef, no yeast, white breads or breads, omg so manythings. I had a goal at one point to be partial vegetarian & I was almost there. I was in shape & a great weight too.
I don't know what happened. I completely fell off the train! Landed flat on my butt sitting there in another land it seems! Now well my eating is the worst & if it were to continue, you may as well throw me a shovel now!
I eat terrible, junk food, snacks, candy, diet pop, alcohol (and too much of it), fatty foods, dairy, cheese, oh I love cheese!, omg so many things! and well even worse, I DON'T excersise! I maybe walk 20 ft to my car twice a day & another 100 ft twice a day & then around my wee little place, that's it! How terrible!
I finally decided to listen to my body. I am going to attempt this cleanse, do the best I can do (that's what counts) and learn the most about me I can. I have a goal, and I have other goals & aspirations that I want to achieve, only I can make it all happen, only I know how to get what I want in life.
The other times I tried at the MC, I had a friend coax me to try it (and introduce me to here - this was years ago). This time though I just remembered about this place & the MC & decided solely on my own; to make this venture by myself.
Today (its early in the wee morning so later on this morning) is going to be my first day through this journey. I know its going to be very bumpy, trying, difficult, terrible & one of the hardest things I have done in my life. I am relying on my inner strength that I know I have somewhere hiding in me to come out again, as well as my spirituality that used to be so very strong & has since recessed into hiding it seems as well.
I am doing this journey for myself to achieve my goals I have in life, do the things I want to do in life, eat the foods that I deep down have always wanted to eat, and just be me & well I would love to lose weight as I am quite a bit overweight, but most of all, I am doing this to battle my last addictions that linger & yuckies I have, regain my spirituality & make it the strongest its ever been. Also to help me look deep into my soul & find the real me that suppressed into hiding awhile back.
My goal - well I feel yucky & blah now, kinda like an ugly caterpillar, I plan to do this journey, learn about me, my body etc, rest up, take care of myself & come out of all this like the butterfly I know I am.
I am starting on the journey of finding myself & the master cleanse is my first step....
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Finding_Myself
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- Advice... by kerminator
17 y
1,222
First it is good that you have decided to do something... That is the first step toward success!! Remember: Every great journey starts with one small step!!
To really find yourself you must look where you have been... That is exactly what you have done, great!! So it is up to your persistence and determination... Only you can determine the out come of your life... Go for it...
See Ya... Kermit
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kerminator
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