- Overwhelming Sadness by peanut74
17 y
4,421 11 Messages Shown
Blog: Master Cleanse for Mind and Body
I haven't been good to my body lately and expect to be MCing again soon. It feels like a rug has been pulled out from under me. My chest even feels heavy by the weight of it.
My best friend in the whole world has been my beloved sister, Kathi. She means so much to me. So many times I tried to get her to eat healthier, quit smoking, walk with me. We dreamed of growing old together. I thought we would be together forever. She is the only one who has ever really known me.
Now she is gone. On September 2, 2006 she was gasping in her sleep. The paramedics were called but they couldn't revive her. Now we don't even have the results of the autopsy. The medics thought is was a heart attack, the coroner is looking into a blood clot in her lung. It is all so cold and painful. Why did she leave me?
For the past several months, I encouraged Kathi to do a liver cleanse. She was excited about the idea but never got around to it. When her husband picked up her things (they were in the process of moving near his father who has health issues) he saw the garlic tincture and oil of oregano I gave her for candida issues. He claimed that must be what killed her. I know it isn't true. I doubt she even used them anyway but it really hurt.
If anyone is reading this, please try to get your loved ones to quit smoking and take care of themselves. Kathi was only 36 with three children who needed her.
I needed her...
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peanut74
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- So Sorry by tambee
17 y
1,748
| Uh, so sorry to hear of your loss. Smoking it a horrible, horrible thing. So sad that it had to affect your life. My Fiance's Mom just had a heart attack due to smoking. We are so lucky she made it through it alive. Why can't they just make smoking illegal? Or even harder to get.
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tambee
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- Re: So Sorry by peanut74
17 y
1,851
Thank you for your kind words, Tambee. Smoking is just like overeating. It is often used as a coping mechanism. Although I understand how people get addicted I wish they wouldn't.
I keep feeling that if I can get anyone to stop and maybe keep them a bit healthier, maybe Kathi's death isn't for nothing. Maybe that's weird. I don't know.
Truly,
Peanut
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peanut74
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- I am sad at your loss by fledgling
17 y
1,673
You tried. She understood, and wanted to join you. That is good to know.
May your happy memories warm you.
fledgling
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fledgling
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- Condolences. www.groww.org grief support 24 hour chatroom online by #19236
17 y
4,913 1 of 1 (100%)
I am sorry for your loss. Try to ignore the unthinking words of her husband. Many times people say unthinking things when they are in grief after a sudden loss.
I invite you to check out groww grief support group and 24 hour open chat room online at http://www.groww.org or http://www.groww.org/chat/gr.shtml for groww grief support 24 hour open chat room.
many people there are going thru similar losses and understand. groww is a very good site.
Take Care
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- Re: Condolences. www.groww.org grief support 24 hour chatroom online by peanut74
17 y
2,487
Thanks for this link. I looked at it briefly and think it will be very helpful.
Truly,
Peanut
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peanut74
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- Re: Condolences. www.groww.org grief support 24 hour chatroom online by naturalgirl
17 y
2,415
Oh I am so sorry about your loss! I felt a lump in my chest when I read your message. Please don't let what your sisters' husband say make you feel guilty. Those things you gave her could not have caused her heart attack but it hurts when someone blames us anyways. I lost my favorite little sister when I was 17. The pain was so intense I went into a deep depression. Its been 11 years now and since then I had a daughter of my own and named her after my sister. When she was born she looked like she had red hair.(my sis had an unusual shade of red hair) A few months later it was definitly apparent it was the same shade. As she got older she devloped freckles in the same places on her nose and upper cheeks as my sis.
Anyways, I hope it doesn't affend you but I will put you in my prayers!I understand your loss.
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naturalgirl
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- Wow...so sorry by ren
17 y
2,295
| I work at a nursing home with a lot of ladies who smoke :(
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ren
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- note of sympathy by Zoebess
17 y
2,129
Dear Sweet Peanut,
Please accept my profound sympathy on the loss of your sister and best friend.
I would wish for you that you find comfort in the fact that you had given your sister hope for healing. It is not true that the oregano or garlic contributed in any way in harming her. That is your brother-in-law's own pain talking....
It was Kathy's choice to continue the behaviors which perhaps did contribute to her body failing her, but like us all, often we do not make choices which say YES to us.
I would wish for you that you take heart in your choices and the reality that you did love your sister and was a friend to her no matter what.
You have make choices which support life and later, hopefully, you can be there for Kathy's children and be able to convey her love for them to each of them, and to be a continuing good influence in their life.
Be comforted as well that she loved you and that you had her in your life. You were a light for her...
My prayers are with you and certainly her family.
Here is a Celtic Blessing I hope you can find solace in.
I wish it for you...
Deep peace of the running waves to you,
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the smiling stars to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the watching shepherds to you,
Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you.
Soon, I too will be doing another cleanse and hope to see you there as even with your grief, your choices are supporting you. I am glad you were able to listen to the song I shared this morning on my blog. It makes me feel good that it was there when you needed some inspiration. Each day is ours...and with it comes a fresh chance to change our hearts and minds, as well as the health of our body, for the better.
I wish you peace,
Zoe
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Zoebess
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