The desire to love is not itself love.  Love is as love does. ~ M. Scott Peck, M.D.

Love is often characterized by the overwhelming feeling that is commonly associated with it.   We have all experienced the giddy feeling of falling in love, a feeling that eventually fades and gets replaced by reality.  

 Genuine love is not a feeling but rather the act of what happens when the butterflies inside of us stop fluttering, the act of commitment.  The choice we make to commit ourself to another person is what allows us to make the transition from falling in love, which is a feeling, to the act of genuine love. 

To genuinely love another means to care deeply about their spiritual growth, to be willing and ready to attend to their needs regardless of how we are personally feeling.  Healthy loving means having the discipline to be able to set our own agendas aside and shift our attention to our beloved.  It is the willingness we have to extend ourselves beyond the comforts of our own limits to nurture the other person.

 Healthy, mutual love is the act of two people with separate identities, who are fully secure and capable of living without each other, making the choice to share their lives with each other. A healthy, loving relationship exists when the distinction of individuality between the two commited participants is honored and sustained.  Authentic, mature love can only grow in the soil of respect and acceptance of the individuality of ourself and others.     

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