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Walking with God with my Fast
by Sacristia

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  • Day 10 of my water fast   by  Sacristia     13 y     2,288       6 Messages Shown       Blog: Walking with God with my Fast
    I feel I am doing horrible. I feel so very yucky due to high ketones in my systems. Today it got so bad, that I wan't to puke up the water that I drank. I read somewhere that I should drink about 10 ounces of water or so ever 45 minutes in order to flush out the ketones that are forming. Really, at this point I am not that thirsty, but I makes sure I drink something because if I don't I really feel nausous after awhile. I hve already drank about 60 ounces of water today, just because if I don't, I feel very very nausous. I had to get up last night and drink 20 ounces as well, because it was really bad for me.

    Last night was a very bad night for me. I got a bit upset and was crying about the loss, and I gave myself a horrible migraine headache! I took a shower to try to relax it, put a hot washcloth on my head to help deaden the pain, but of no avail. I just toss and turned all night trying to find a comfortable spot to put my head so the pain would go away.

    Funny thing is that ever time feel asleep, I drempt about putting some index card into a slot and when I did, the pain would start and I would wake up again with my headache. I was thinking, " I need not to put that stinking card in that slot!"

    I feel very willowy today. I am about 118 pounds and I have lost 7 pounds in ten days. I have noticed that the area around my ribs is very slim and you can't see my ribs but you can see the outline slightly, but that is the only place on my body at the moment. I have noticed my neck looks more skin and tall, which it has never been tall, since I am very short. LOL. The ring on my left hand is very loose that I have to be careful not to lose it. My left hand is not my dominate hand, so it has less muscle build up as my right hand does. So my fingers do look a bit skinny then my right hand. I must be calm to a point because I haven't bit my finger nails and they are growing nicely and you can see the whites of them, and they are starting to look very elegant at less at my prospective.

    I have been thinking about food alot, but I am not in the least bit hungry. I guess it is because people around me are talking about eating and going out to eat and such that it makes me realize once again during a fast, how much we spend time eating, either alone or with others. It is much a part of socialization that it can be very hard to socialize due to that.

    I have been fighting with God about things, not really fighting but just being stubborn about how I feel, and how my hopes were dashed against the rocks when I least expected them. I know I have to move on, but it really irks me when a couple of my friends just say " move on" as if it would be easy for them if it happened to them. Maybe so, because people can be very unfeeling nowadays. Not only do I miss my friend, but his 3 year old son. Yeah, so we dated for about 6 months, but that doesn't mean that I can just chuck it in the garbage as if it was nothing, because it wasn't. A day like today is so very nice, that it pains my heart that we would have went to the park with his son. Sigh.

    Yeah, yeah, I am getting there. It isn't easy, but give me time, I will get there. Not everyone is on the same time line when it comes to healing. I lost alot of trust, no only with God, but with people in general. I had a friend yesterday ask me if I trusted him. I said that I know I can trust him, beause I can discern that, but I don't trust him, because I dont' want to trust anyone right now. Sometimes I don't even trust myself.

    Oh well. I am kind of numb right now, which is nice. At least I am not upset or crying. I am just tired and numb. My headache has finally went away so I should be able to sleep well tonight, as long as I dont' act like a baby and cry.

    As of this posting, I have 54 days, 8 hours and 23 seconds until my complete fast is over. My original end goal is April 30 but it will have to see once I hit Easter which is on April 12 and go from there, since I have to watch my body closly to make sure I don't get the true hunger pain before that end date. I will just see.

    Trying to have more faith in God, it is a struggle, but some days are better then others. I guess that is very normal. I just have never questioned my faith before, so this is very hard for me to deal with.

    Time for another drink of water. I feel nausous.
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    • Re: Day 10 of my water fast   by  UserX     13 y     1,861
      Have you ever tried ice packs for headaches. They really help me a lot. Heat makes them worse. I still wonder what happened to the e-mail you sent me. Maybe you sent it to someone else in error. Oh well, it maybe wasn't meant to be. I wish you the best. You are really going through it. I know God is hearing your cry and someday you will understand what He is doing with you at this time. You are in my prayers.
      Rainy
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      • Re: Day 10 of my water fast   by  Sacristia     13 y     1,796
        I am still kind of working on the email I sent you. It was really long and when you didn't get it I just cried. It was just personal and how I was feeling. I will still send it. Lately it has been very hard for me detoxing and all, plus crying a bit.

        I haven't forgotten you. Actually I have thought of you lot when I am praying and wondering how you are dong as well. I am sure I can get the rest of it done either later today or tommorrow. :o)

        I love to keep in touch with you. I just haven't had the heart as of late, which my email will explain more and you will understand a bit better.

        Sacristia
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        • Re: Day 10 of my water fast   by  UserX     13 y     1,787
          I am so happy to hear that you will still send me the e-mail. I have a suggestion. Since you are putting so much work into it save a copy on your computer until you know I get it. That way you will not have wasted all your time in doing it over if something happens again. We will need to troubleshoot to find out where it went. Did you send it to my curezone inbox? There is a poster with a similar name, Raine13. I am Rainy Day. Some people get us mixed up. Now I will have something to look forward to today. Thank you for thinking about me.
          Rainy
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