- In trying times... by mariposa azul
15 y
3,269 3 Messages Shown
Blog: Cleanse My Bulimic little Secret
The past couple of days have been a little difficult around here. Dealing with an aging Mom is never easy...and to boot I was involved in a car accident. Priority, my child and I were okay...just dealing with the aftermath was a bit trying. Just hard because I at the end just wanted some food comfort! I found myself craving gummie candy of all things.
So all afternoon just kept thinking about biting into that stuff...by ten at night, I thought, what the hell. Just going for it! Two bags later(not huge bags, but yes. two!)
and I had no desire to purge them.
Thank God!
Normally when I am trying to lose weight (which is always)if I give in and have something I am not supposed to...that begins a cycle of just "what the hell" if I ate this crap I might as well eat the whole house, purge then I will really stop this time.
Last night was so different & I recognize it and feel good about it.
The fact that my mind recognizes that hey, it's okay to have something to eat that's full of carbs, sugars or whatever...and not begin a cycle of a binge/purge, great!
The fact that I did not use what was happening at home as an excuse to binge/purge, great!
The fact that I woke up this morning and I did not feel as if I failed, great!
The fact that I know I can eat something I hadn't planned on and I don't feel bad about it, great!
That today I woke up and continued on my good eating plan, great! I feel good.
Kinda feels like when you study for an exam. Not sure if you are prepared enough & when it comes time to take the exam...you pass with flying colors!
When I first ran across this website over a year ago...I felt good reading & learning from different posts & blogs...that's recently when I thought if I ever blog it will be only with the intent to do well. to hold myself accountable. to not continue living with my past, but create a new healthy way of being for myself. I hold myself accountable.
I am not an active participant in my religious faith even though I am working on it.
Here is a little prayer that I found that filled me with a sense of peace:
"May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy."
|
|
|
mariposa azul
|
|
- Re: In trying times... by luvjoy
15 y
1,707
Hurray for you - for finding ways to cope in times of stress. Sorry to hear of your accident. Hope you really are okay.
I want you to know that even though I told you of my struggles with alcohol, I know that it is not the same thing you are going through. Alcohol is optional and food is not - alcohol is something that you can just quit - food is not. Makes me all the more proud of you for what you are accomplishing!
Keep it up. I'm always here if you want to "talk".
Love, love, love,
M
|
|
|
luvjoy
|
|
- Re: In trying times... by luvjoy
15 y
1,596
Hi Sweetie,
Just checking in - last time you posted was a stressful time. Hope all is well with you and your family.
I was in an accident with my son the first part of November and it really took me a while to feel okay again (mentally and emotionally - physically we were fine). Of course, I just acted like I was perfectly fine until the bad feelings went away - I would never admit to feeling really shaken up : )
Anyway, you are in my thoughts and prayers. You don't have to answer this - I'm sure you don't need another job to do. Just wanted to check in on you, tell you that you are awesome - keep your chin up. Keep moving forward, one step, one meal, one day at a time.
Love,
Marie
|
|
|
luvjoy
|
|
|
|
CureZone