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Lonely Day
I want to make the most of
tomorrow. I will throw myself
into work that is satisfying
and do something I can do.
10:00
February 8, 07
Thought I would be writing
on the "Joe the Farmer" MS today,
but ended up blogging on "The Secret,"
and then doing some Assiyah (down to earth) stuff
with details for the upcoming Natural Products Expo West.
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=2236
I ordered some new batteries and Flash Cards,
and researched buying an back up C5050 and maybe a flash.
I received a great gift from the Organic Trade Association,
a comp extension of my Membership in this great organization
that does much to help Organic Agriculture in the political arena.
It is a great honor to be the photographer for their
yearly Reception for Donors at the Natural Products Expo West.
It is also quite a responsibility
and it feels taxing, considering I have been under the weather
with irritated bowel since Christmas eve.
Today, I had a hard time overcoming a longing
for companionship.
This was helped much by spending some time with two really
great young people who are very involved in Permaculture.
I feel so sad from the young people in the 23-31 age who
so want to live in a world that makes sense. Not too many local
role models. I would like to be one of them, but I have not
really developed the kind of home based garden community that
is sustaining.
Tonight I was looking at the plants outside the door
and thinking how small my life has become.
The plants become more and more meaningful because
I have not seemed to keep growing in more and more human friendships
that I can turn to when I feel like it.
Tonight, I settled into paying some bills.
Did something useful at least, and got that out of the way,
so I have tomorrow to Create.
I was feeling some woe is me around not really feeling
comfortable in any formal kind of religious group that fits
tonight.
To my right is this photo of "Joe the Farmer."
I really want to have a good creative day tomorrow
and throw myself into making the CD of "Joe the Farmer' photos.
Accomplishment--creative accomplishment--seems to be
something I can do and that is useful.
The human companionship side will come as the Spring progresses.
Maybe I will be surprised on Sunday at
the #5 Soilmates gathering.
Oh thank God for this life.
I want to make the most of this moment.
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