couldn't hold this nutter back

Date:   12/27/2006 1:25:23 AM ( 18 y ago)

My mother came to visit me for christmas. Repeated that having a baby would be a financial disaster and she hopes I don't get pregnant before I get my own house. My husband doesn't think we should have babies in poverty. Is anyone interested in some positive thinking!!!! I don't even want to have sex anymore. What is the point if I am not going to have babies. It's a waste. I'm grumpy and not in the Merry Christmas spirit. Where's the chocolate cake, coffee and SAD food! Why are the meat eating, beer drinking, deer hunting, football watching, jeff foxworthy fanatics who scoff at people like me for not eating meat, having compassion on animals, wanting to buy organic food, look our very best, not get fat,etc. having babies and not me? WHY WHY WHY. I watch a girl smoke every day and she's super pregnant. I hate this town. perhaps if I decided to gain fifty pounds and buy the dollar bread at Walmart, maybe things will start looking up. If I can't reproduce myself then why aspire to live long? Oh boy this must be what my husband calls a 'nutter'. Tomorrow I'll have to make it up to him for this foul mood I've been. Maybe a steak or sumthin.

Seriously, I must find some way of turning off my biological clock. It's driving me crazy. I wish I could so do yoga again. That seemed to help.

 

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