meditation on life 'without'

Date:   8/8/2006 3:19:45 PM ( 18 y ago)

Today I talked to my mom on the phone. I was not having a bad or good day either way. We were talking about money issues and she was telling me about the new nursing programs opening up in NEW YORK and not where I live now, waaaaaaay out in the woods with the rabbits and skunks :-) Well anyway, I hung up and began to get irritated because the job prospects are not that great here and I don't see how I'm going to build a financial future. I reminded her that the jobs for office work pay less than McDonald's and Walmart and then she said.. well see what I was telling you about education? She knows I'll find a job soon BUT at what pay rate? Anyway, my irritation started giving way to bitterness so I went outside and read a few pages from this novel I'm working on. Reading wasn't really helping so I laid down, head pointing downward (this is on a little upslope hill thing in my yard) for five minutes then did some yoga. I decided to go walking and ended up at church. I love small towns because the church is open all day. Walking made me feel better and also I prayed one decade of the Rosary. The church is attached to the Benedictine Monastery so I went and got a few little things from the gift shop. I didn't want the change. The prayer book was a treasure in itself and worth more than seventy five cents for sure.

Anyway, I got to thinking about what I deal with not having money. Sometimes my feelings run the gamut, from sadness to casual indifference over my financial situation. Yesterday I was reading about vipassana meditation but beyond breathing, my serious interests rest with studying the works of great people like Hildegarde,etc. Something (God, the Holy Spirit) pulled me into that church today. I do not feel as if I am on this Earth when praying the rosary prayers. My psychic intuition is also increasing. I am going to get into this some more soon. I'm walking and cultivating a life without a car. This is day one of my "car free" life. Let's what happens to a person when things are taken away one at a time.

 

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