Self love vs. Self hate and my vegan/rawfood diet by Ren .....

various notes on life

Date:   11/17/2005 8:04:43 AM ( 19 y ago)

I had my first session with my raw food coach this morning. What's so different about Angela is that she really understands emotional eating and overeating from a recovery perspective. I loved the 'getting to know you' time and it's worth the money to get professional services. My mother told me last night that there's talk of getting me another wedding dress because they don't think I'll lose the weight to fit into the one I have now. I've never been slim because of years overeating and emotional piling on. I'm going to an overeater's anonymous meeting tonight too so yay!

I had a very long talk with my fiance about my self hate. I do admit that I have lots of self hate which has manifested itself in my appearance. It's manifested itself in so many ways. Today I'm throwing out my old clothes. Every pants that I have that's too big or has holes or looks too worn is going into the donation bag. I'm down to a size twelve so it's time to go to Costco or WallyWorld (Walmart) and get new jeans. I'm not worrying about wasting money buying clothes because I'll put it in a barrell and send it home (Trinidad and Tobago). I never donate clothes I'd not wear myself. However, unlike myself a lot of my relatives who are poor can sew and I don't mind sending something with a hole that they can sew. Buying new clothes, getting my nails done and my face done is going to be a big step for me.

Next week I am getting my bridal hair/makeup done. I'm so excited becaause it'll be a treat for me after my seven day liquid cleanse. I wanted to fast but I've had a small cup of tea with milk which isn't really fasting :o) Boy I really do have to find my camera cord so I can post pictures. I have a picture of the dress but I won't post it because my fiance reads my blog :P:P:P

This weekend I'm celebrating my 'around the sun' day with a coconut cream smoothie. No cakes and ice cream cakes for me.

More later! ttyl...I have to go clean my house now!


 

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