Going to declutter today. Wnat to find treasures in the stuff want to make progress. I am being shown some things, but now fully sure what I am being shown. Sort of fills like spirit in the basement in all these things. They have a message for me. I want some kind of release from my current life, but now sure yet what I am asking.

Date:   7/27/2007 9:52:01 AM ( 17 y ago)

2:51 PM
July 28, 07

Table outside still filled with tapes.
I am listening to one where Paris is singing to
be back in 99 or so, and then I am doing a healing
session with Jeff Brown on the same tape.

It is oh so very powerful and moving.

I am getting into this trip down memory lane
outside in the shade of the Cheramoya Tree.

Now I am into some Jewish Notebooks.

I can't find the small one of Shlomo,
that I believe Susan took, but I am finding
some more of David Zeller, and also a lovely one
of Gary Hartman with his family.

I must be on a vacation of some kind.

There is also a workshop on Nature and Psyche
with some powerful people on the program.

I pushed too hard and was not later welcomed
by that group. Shiva Rea, who is now featured
on a DVD doing yoga, was my ceremonial ally that weekend.
I have not heard anything more from that group.

They were in Malibu.

I am going to upload a photo of Rabbi David Zeller.
He died recently and his these photos are a find.

I am asking questions about the value of things,
and holding on to things.

I feel still born,
as if the quality I came to give has been held back
by all the stuff I carry inside and out.

I am feeling more whole inside,
less needy for some reason.

Maybe it was listening to that healing session with Jeff Brown.
He lived here. He is now a well traveled practitioner of NVC.
He



11:59 AM
July 28, 07

The Price of Success means
having few things.
Isn't that a paradox?

To succeed means to go vertical
from top to bottom, from inner world
to outer.

To succeed means bringing something into the world.

I have spent the last three hours or more...
going through audio tapes.

I have boxes of them.

Some of the tapes have meaning,
and I am listening to one now
by Bolen that is about the descent of the Soul...
she has recently written "Close to the Bone."

What do I want to do with MY life????
My life?

To succeed I need to get out of the basement,
out of the boxes and clutter
and have Open Space to go from Top to Bottom.

I am not sure if I have it in me to go from
Top to Bottom.

I imagine I have done this at times
or for periods of time, but I do not feel
those successes now.

Now I am clearning more space.

12:03 PM
Friday....

One single idea taken from top to bottom
would bring more fulfillment that a whole
basement full of boxes.

I want to get my hands on some boxes,
and move on form the tapes.

Spent time settng up
throwaway box.

Reclaimed box.

Pacific Symposium box to take to their library.

Relationship box.




8:30 AM
July 28, 07

Heading into a day of decluttering.
Starting with old tapes.
Working in backyard.

Setting up a player to listen while I work...

Listening to Bradshaw
some music...
Do I want all these tapes????


Is the past worth more than the present or the future?
Is there no remedy for how small my life is now?

Is there any room for something to expand into the empty space?

tossed out one bucket full...

Clear some tapes for other uses
with the tape eraser...????

Time to dedicate this this...

Look it over and see....

clear the space and see...

clear some boxes...

10:25 AM

Went to Radio Shack.
needed extra cord so Paris can continue.
I am using the other cord.

Home: eating a Rose Apple;

What is my intention for the Space down below?

DO I want all these old boxes of tapes taking up space?

Why am I so lonely in my ministry?

Does anyone know what my ministry is...
outside of Virtual Reality?

Why is my world so small with intimates
who I work with closely?

How about the people I live with?

More authenticity being expressed at the meetings.







Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Thanks,
Leslie


7:39 AM
July 27, 07

Anna is making fantastic progress in the laundry
area. She dug deep into the clutter and dust.

That is where we found a large possum dead in the corner
the other day.

Paris just brought me down two more of the Essene Tapes.

I finished my Sales Tax Report--what a relief--
put it in the mail slot--and went through a few boxes
of audio cassettes that are very old.

They are on the top of the blue storage area in the laundry
area.

Lots of give up feelings yesterday and wanting to reach
out for comfort to the one particular person who has been that for me.
Woke up with feelings of wanting to be meet my own needs
and be more self contained when she is into other things.

That is healthy but asking a lot right now
with so much discomfort about decluttering.

I saw the Essene School of Thought Library
in my head. This would be nice in the reclaimed basement.

I found a lot of powerful audio tapes as I was starting to go
through materials.

I am going to see how much I can declutter today.

I will keep my energy going listening to some of the old cd's
and things Paris has transfered.

Paris brought down the Kabbalah/Tree of Life tape...
That is one of my favorites. He copied from the original
it looks like, and reports poor quality. I would like
to find a better version. I love that CD.

Going to listen to what he did on it now.

Want to break through today with emotions
of wanting what is not here now.

John Brawshaws "Working with Rejection and Abandonment"
may help.



House meeting helped some.



___

19 8:33 AM
July 27, 07
Feeling afraid?

___

 

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