Up early in humorous escatic writing...then back to bed...awakening in a state of extreme discomfort, I stop and take notes.

Date:   10/15/2006 11:53:53 AM ( 18 y ago)

9:38 AM
October 15, 06

Hello darkness my Old Friend,
come to visit you again
No-
Not the Darkness--
something--
Something-
A thing in the Shadow stuck
a Very Uncomfortable feeling
I will do anything to not feel.

Instances--experiences
trigger the release of it.
It wants to be felt.
It wants to come up and out.
to be freed
returned to freed energy
where it is back in movement.

It is trapped
blocked
emotion
silenced
something once felt
but not fully
not fully resolved
expressed.

IT got suppressed.
IT is the stuff of a break
a break in
a break in wholeness
a thing that is now named Trauma.

IT is the Stuff of War
IT is the Stuff that makes War
The Stuff that disturbs the Inner Peace.

It is the Stuff that breeds Genius
that possesses
that drives a person to DO
To Make
To make something happen
to work
To work too much.

It is an intense feeling
felt now of being ostracised
kicked out of the garden.
It is to be a Kid left alone
in the Dark, spectres in the closet
and outside the window
shallowed.

I am feeling it now
The terrifying disturbing something
that overshadows from inside out
something that feels chemically born
I am feeling it.
this something
that keeps friends up at night
and name it a disease.

Today is a new day
when Genesis again begins.

I refuse to let this feeling attach
to something uncomfortable I fear expressing
now.

I will express what I feel and fear now.
I will clear this old Something.

Go! Get out of her
you are not my enemy.
Peace be Unto You!

9:53 AM
October 15



 

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