Going to bring Earthworm Poop to the Synagogue this Yom Kippur... I'm Forgiving myself for Self Abandonment. My Character Defects don't seem as bad as Abraham's.

Date:   9/27/2006 10:40:39 PM ( 18 y ago)

12;34 PM
September 9/27/06

"A very special mitzvah
is to invite Muslims who were fasting
on Ramadan to dinner so they don't have
to cook on an empty stomach."

"Whatever we can do by ourselves
and with others to make repairs
to our ecology is a major mitzvah
in the great form of tzedakah."

--from the High Holiday
message of Reb Zalman,
grandfather of the Jewish Renewal
Movement


Just off the phone with Dr. Judith Larkin Reno,
author of "A Mystic's View of War"
and "The Elephants in Your Tent."

I know her as Judith, a dear friend
for more than 25 years.

Ever so often, we talk for an hour.
She lavishes me with her razor and laser
beaming insights that she in her life
has shared as Dean of the School of Consciousness
of the former University for Humanistic Studies,
and then as the presidentn of Gateway
University, and founder and pastor of Gateway Church.
For a number of years, before her own
retreat from public view, she had a large following.
She still has a dedicated community around her
who pray and work together.

Among the offerings is praying gratitude that Judith
wages her never-ending acceptance of the challenge
to remain embodied. She has had bouts of bone
cancer for more than 26 years. Only through
Stem Cell Therapy, Chemo, a multitude of
alternative Therapies and Grace, do I get to hear
her loving voice in response to my own challenges.

She, among all things,is a Witness.
She glories in my Epic Journeys,
and reminds me that my life is impersonal
and that God is impersonal and that we, in some
sense, are a part of God.

She says we are God's favorite sitcom;
and yet we have to honor finite and the infinite;
not either/or, but both/and, otherwise we split off
into internal opposition.

She loves to hear my stories.
She coaches me through the times I am at
wits end, and my bouts in the Crack.

She loves to bear witness to my Risings
and the times I am overshadowed by my Soul.
She likes to hear about the times
I become one with my purpose for living
that for all we know is all made up.

God loves our stories.
I love to imagine that I can have something
to do with celebrating this millennium as
1000 years of peace.

What hubris!
I believe in my Visions because they
give me hope. I know
it would make me happy to live in a world
where I am surrounded by other happy
people who have outgrown war.

Sometimes I feel down on myself.
I feel ashamed that I can feel so strong one
moment, and then feel fear of abandonment
coming up from the depths of my cells.

Then, I call her and leave a message:

"Judith, I was just thinking about Abraham,
this polyamorous fellow who is claimed the
Father of the Three Tribes of Jews, Moslims and Christians.
What a prophet, what a screw ball.

I mean--his wife says she can't get pregnant
because she is too old, so go and make a baby
with my dear friend Hagar. Then he gets her pregnant
and she has this babe named Ismael, who later
becomes the Papa for the Moslim people.
Sarah then gets visited by Angels, and discovers
she too can put an egg and sperm together.
Waalah, Isaac, Forefather of the Jewish Tribe!
Abe then sends Hagar and baby Ismael out
to the desert. She runs out of water.
Lucky, Gabe the Angel is hanging out,
and makes a holy well at her feet.
Who needs more than this to have
to deal with inherited
Abandonment?

Somewhere in the story about Abe,
that is read during
the High Holidays in the Torah,
the Jewish Scroll of honored teachings,
we hear that Abe takes son Isaac
out to off him. Again an Angel intercedes--
I think it was Gabriela once more
who keeps him from drawing
his own son's blood.

Judith, I say in my phone message, "well, in comparison
to Abe, my life pales in character defects.
." I never treated any woman I know
that bad. In this age, they would knock my block off."

The worse Crack I find in me
is this ongoing pattern of self abandonment
that can come up from time to time
when I am laying down on the Job
and not being a Prophet in my own TIme.

Judith concurs that abandonment is the collective
issue for this Age. It comes from the destruction
of the Family. In some sense, it is the Gift
we are to bear, that we are compelled through our Pain,
to Awaken to standing on our own Two Feet.
We are compelled to have an authentic relationship
with what is Divine, however we name the Divine.
We can't go to a woman or a man as if they are
our Oil Pump.

This man-Woman Thing:
It's a dance, a delicate dance
of Giving and Receiving, and can bring
us Mastery as we continue to find the Courage
to hang in with intimacy.

What to make of these Holy Books,
so full of contradictions, so full of ammunition
that can be used to destroy, maim, and injure,
that gives credence for one Tribe to kill another
seemingly with the approval of God Himself.

Ronit, another friend, who has in past seasons
worked with the kids at R. Stan Levy's B'nai Horin,
tells me she is Up to here with it all--
She knows more than enough Jewish Teachings
to see all the contradictions.

She quotes Deena Metzger, the poet, who once said,
The Bible has so many contractions that if the writers
were in her writing class, they would have received a
grade "D." Well, at least dearest Deena didn't give them an F.

So here I am in the kitchen in one of my Moods.
I feel I can see what is needed.

The Book of Shalom, why of course!
That is what is needed!
We need to convene a conference and write one
more chapter for the Holy Books: The story of our lives,
the story of how we outgrew these contradictions
and named these 1000 years the Enchanted Garden Era.
The story of how, in the face of it all,
we Rise up as Whole Beings in the World.

Oh, well, nice thought.

Talked to Rina this morning. Rina runs
the Kid program for B'nai Horin.
I will be working with the kids at the Yom Kippur
that starts on Sunday at dusk.

My Message this year for my Jewish community
: The Promised Land can only
start in our own Back Yard. Someday,
if enough of us, grow peace right here at home,
we will surround the Cousins in the Mideast
with a circle of Green.
They will see us smiling, and laughing, and
enjoying a life without Oil.

You can take this Your Bank of Compost
and Cash it: I guarantee:
The Last Place on Earth there will ever
be Peace is the Mid East.

It is Required Living:
Start Growing Peace where you Live.

One day, if enough of us make peace
inside our skin, inside our homes,
with our own families, One Holy Jew
will turn to the Arab at the end of a bayonet,
and visa versa, and say,
"Say Cousin, can you remind me
What we are fighting for?"

I am going to bring earthworms
and some compost that has been turned to new fertile
soil to the Yom Kippur to teach the Kids
a lesson.

I would love this year to give the message
that the Promised Land Begins in our Backyard,
and that The Earth and the Soul are Soilmates.

I'll bring up some worm poop, too,
otherwise, known as Worm Castings,
Worm Castings--the by-product of earthworms
that eat our vegetable matter-- is one
of the finest soil amendments
a Jew--and anyone-- can make to do Tikkun Olam--
Repair of the World.

Somehow. bringing worm poop
to the Temple
seems to be appropriate
for this Occasion.

Your EG


An Enchanted Gardener
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