This year review done on the May 6 was in response to an e-mail from Enchanted Gardener,#7, a great friend, gardener, and ally in Jewish Renewal. I feel that I am in reach of having THE BEST YEAR YET on my LIFE. This is saying a lot. I felt near death this past Winter. When I imagined this could be MY BEST YEAR YET, I did not believe it. I did not have any sense this was really possible. I review my diet, and remedies for severe on-going diarrhea. Blogging on CureZone has been one of my top remedies. The spiritual year for me runs from the Jewish New Year in September- to the following September.

Date:   5/6/2005 6:41:03 AM ( 19 y ago)

“Leslie,
last year i felt so badly at B'nai Horin,
which i am sure that you were not tuned
into because you were not feeling wonderful..."


Yes, I was not too tuned in last year at B'nai Horin.
I was without the EG Mobile for the Rosh Hasana.
This was intensely stressful.
I was dependent on others who did not show up
responsibly.

I did the Whole being Weekend in Idylwild.
How was I going to get from my house,
to Idylwild, from Idyllwild to B'nai Horin,
from B'nai Horin, home?

My love life was in the PITS.
My relationship with Judaism was feeling sucky.
My relationship with B'nai Horin was feeling sucky.

I was not earning any money for the bills that this was hurting me.

My timing was way off.
A great deal of my creative juice was being sucked off
with travel plans.

I got to the Whole being weekend, and my ride to Ariella's,
the next leg, did not show up. I was counting on her to
get to Ariella as well.

I started to develop diarrhea around that time.
My bowel is still not stable, although if I limit
myself to a few specific foods, I can manage now.

I knew I had to make a decision about the Kallah--
to teach there--and this was in part dependent on
you and Ariella. You could not commit to teach.

I did not want to attempt to pull off the Barley Omen/
Sacred Challah alone.

So I dropped the Kallah idea--the idea of bringing out the
Barley and the Sacred Challah project. in the undercurrent,
I was pissed at being Jewish and un at ease with it all.

Much of my original pain work surrounds the abandonment
I felt from the Jewish community when my mom died when
I was 12. Much of my abandonment surrounds the neglect
from my father, who choose his God and his Religion above
spending time with his only son.

[This is where you will find the
story of my 30th High School ReUnion
that begins this series about
a Radical Healing surrounding my 40th ReUnion:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=120 ]



I had this vision--this ridiculous vision--that I said from
the PITS--that this could be my BEST YEAR YET.

And about seven months after that, it is turning into a year
that has the potential to be MY BEST YEAR YET.

We are now in the 12th day of the Counting of the Omer.
During the 11th Day--yesterday--I made some major
life changing commitments'.

During the month preceding Passover--I did some major
internal housecleaning.

I did some massive cleaning work.
I attended my 40th High School ReUnion.
I picked up the pieces on my life when I was between
12=17. I did a tremendous amount of writing about that
on my Blogs.

This was a miracle of healing.
I wrote out strong statements that I would communicate
to my father. During the week of Passover, I communicated them.

My relationship with Judaism is in a state of renewal again.
I cannot say how this all happened.
I always get high on Passover and Shavuot energy.

I allowed my healthy relationship with Judaism to
contract to one simple expression--the growing of the Holy Barley
that Reb Zalman, suggested was for the Counting.

Sometimes, it is just simplifying down to a few simple things
that is the solution, Joy.

My Focus was that Barley growing during the last seven months.
IT was planted by the children of Succoth.

In spite of not getting what I wanted from B;Bnai Horin--not even
the table where I could be seen at Rosh Hashanah--
By the end of Yom Kippur, the Barley Grass saved me.

The Barley Grass--simple blades of grass saved me.
I had planted the Barley with the children at Rosh Hashanah.

I announced this to the community at the services from the Pulpit.

Ten days later, I returned in my own vehicle that was now fixed.
The Barley Seeds were now grass.

Rabbi Stan was so impressed that he put it on the pulpit.
He used this as one of his main metaphors for the year, beside
all the energy he put into Matty, the little boy who wrote all those books.

Then, on the second day of Rosh Hashannah--we had Reb Zalman in an event.
I had him bless the Seeds. We did not spend more than 30 seconds in contact.
I was very inward. That was the day I realized that the Kallah--the gathering
of all the Jewish renewal communities--was not going to happen for me this time
around. I would not be bringing the Holy Barley there.

Then on Succoth--my former "On again/off again" relationship took me
to the Dare--an event with a medicine shaman from Africa.

That was the Straw that broke the camels back.

He basically said she was my medicine.
He said that we would be together even after we left the body.
He asked her, how much did she love me?
She said she ONLY loved me as a friend.
I had not seen her for a long time.
I was moved by how much stronger she was physically.
When I made a comment about this--
this later came back at me.

She did not want me to be make any comments
on her physicality at all in any way.

The very things that I used to say that she liked
were not repulsive.

We were asked to go into the other room to get
a Tarot reading. The reading indicated we were
like two beings in one body.

Her mind denied the whole thing.

I was stuck with the idea that I had a Soul Mate
I had chosen who did not want to be close to me
accept in some limited way, called friends.

This was not acceptable for me.

I had a vision, that this could be the best year yet,
but I had no idea how that could manifest.

The next six months I withdrew from her.
I basically came to as close to death as I can remember
in recent years.

I used up a rain forest of toilet paper with diarrhea between
October-March. I lost my ability to eat the foods that I was able
to eat. I lost a lot of weight. I refused to go the Western Medicating
way against Doctor advice.

I spend the entire late fall through the holidays basically
in retreat. I was limited to a few foods. I had severe stomach
and bowel pains.

In Early November, in the depths of poor health, I went ahead
and did the Pacific Symposium--my annual conference in San Diego.
I was still eating mainly cooked lamb.

At this show, I drank a lot of Barley juice--Green Magma.
I used tons of Coix and garlic dried supplement from the same company.
This helped tremendously. I was high as a kite because I could do the
show at all.

I was forced to do less at the show to do it at all.
I parred down.

I had helpers from the community.

I had so much love come at me--at the show...
and I did the opening and closing ceremony.
They were very short and highly successful.
I was focused on The Seven Love Cures and planting
TCM in American Soil, my other Plant Your Dream project.

After that conference, I went back to bed for months.

I spent much of my time in bed watching old movies.
The Chargers football team saved my life. I forced myself
to get into the local football team. We had a good team
and had a miracle season. I lived and died Chargers.
I started to watch the news. I got into Front-line and PBS,
and Bill Moyer. I became a TV holic.

On December 1, I started to Declutter, and worked on this consistently
for the next three months. All this time I still had diarrhea--up
to 20 times or more a day.

I could not find a homeopathy remedy that would work.
I could not eat raw at all.
I tried a billion remedies including the Richard Schultz stuff.
I tried the probiotics--the popular one--I forget the name
by the name who wrote that book and then made the product.
I will remember later. Anyway, the product everyone was raving about
did nothing. Finally, I ran into a doctor who said he had the same experience
through muscle testing. He also planted the seed that I was allergic to all
grains. Raw was impossible to eat. Fruit only increased my diarrhea.
I could basically not eat digest any food.

I was down to eating lamb, and then attempts to eat raw meat of various
kinds. My acupuncturists were bucking all this. I was showing too much
fire from the cooked meat. The raw meat--based on the Volderplanetz (SP?) stuff (sp)
topped with the best quality raw unfiltered honey--was O.k.--but did not heal me.

The remedy that turned by diarrhea around and started to allow me to
create my own enzymes was a trace mineral liquid that I intuitive remembered
from my days with Dr. Jensen.

That allowed me to get control of the diarrhea.
That allowed me to go to the Natural Products Expo.

As consistent as I tried, none of the accupuncture I was doing
did too much good.

In January, I had one more positive experience that helped.
Roger Green, an international Feng Shui master teacher, asked me
in on the planning meetings with the Hilton Bay Resort
RE: holding the next International Feng Shui Conference here in San Diego.

I big part of his wanting the conference here, I sensed, had to do with
my encouragement.

We had an incredible 4th International Conference last year in San Luis Obispo--
however--that was when I had kidney stones the night before setup and ended
up in the emergency hospital getting a cat scan, drinking their poison, and taking
Ibuprofen for more than 20 days.

That was what killed my digestion.

Then in February, I read one of my e-mails from CureZone and I started
to Blog.

I have to say, joining CureZone, second to the use of the Trace Minerals,
has been my best healer. Doing a Blog on CureZone fulfills a deep
need that someone is reading my things.

I am a prolific writing, but I have been writing in isolation.
I started to have the vision, that it would be a natural jump from
writing here, and actually fulfilling my life dharma as a best selling author.
This is one of my major frustrations that no one has seen
all the work I consistently produce.


In March--the breakthrough came when I attended the Natural
Products Expo West. It was a miracle just to be able to get up there
and do the show. I still had radical diarrhea.

My self Esteem was very low before the show.
It helped that my relationships with the show organizers,
made sure I received a Press Pass, as usual.

I had been wanting to read one of The Seven Love Cures on stage.
This did not happen.

I found a few remedies that worked at this show as well,
but the main remedy again, was being in the love of friends
and meeting new friends.

Again--doing my life--doing the things that made me happy--
taking a few consistent things--such as a morning green drink
in cocoanut blended with psyillium, and some of Jensen's Whole Food Blend,
and Moringa anti-inflammatory helped me.

Then April came.

I spent more days away from home after April 9, then at home.

I did my 40th High School ReUnion.
I did the Mark Victor Hansen MEGA Book Marketing University
on a whim.
I did Passover in LA.
I did massive healing with my father.

I reconnected with my "On again/off again: Relationship
and this is in good space right now.

I have harvested the Barley that is now gone to Seed.

The whole Passover experience was truly a coming out of Egypt
for me.

I am in a state where deep spiritual Essene energies are again
flowing through me. I sense I am involved with the fulfillment of
deep planetary prophesies.

Yesterday, I committed to do two events.

I have a mass of unfinished followup from all the April trips.
My Clutter is up, and I need to slow down.

There are two boxes of Feng Shui brochures for the San Diego Conference
in our mail area.

My photos are used. I am a featured speaker.

I have an event here now at the Enchanted Garden Intentional Community
for May 21, hosting one of our local Jewish Renewal communities.

I have confirmed that I will bring out The Seven Love Cures in LA in my old
neighborhood the afternoon of June 12.

Then I have off time to work on the house, work on writings, prep to get
to the next level of bringing out The Seven Love Cures.

I need to simplify again at a time when I have committed to seeds that are now
seedlings. I am once again at a place where I have more to do that is possible,
but deeper energies are flowing through me.

I need to REFOCUS my physical space and food intake.

I can do some raw now, some steamed, some basmati rice with raisins, super slow cooked,
some yams and sweet potatoes. I cannot do fruit. I can do my raw green barley powder.
I need to get back on the Katsu garlic supplements and coix and more green magma.

I need to get back consistently with the trace mineral liquid--My Vita--

I need to make sure I get some decluttering down around here at the community
and get my communications made to a few house mates.

I will call in extra helpers from outside and pay to get some clean up down around here
if necessary.

ALl in All, it is only a question of time before my The Seven Love Cures is out as a book.
I have all the ALLIES i need on the professional level.

I have the CureZone family, and this is essential.
I am feeling good about my relationship with Judaism...my brand of mystical
Essene Judaism. The garden and plants are overgrown, but there is a lot here
to make me happy. It is the merry month of May. My relationship with "On again/off again"
feels at a new level of understanding inside me, and I feel good about this.

I am on tract to have my BEST YEAR yet.

Your Enchanted Gardener,
Leslie




 

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