A most disheartening nightmare,

Date:   5/18/2016 9:56:23 AM ( 8 y ago)

A most disheartening nightmare

Between 5 am- 7 am
May 18, 2016

It's now 7:28 AM may 18th. I'm processing and feeling deeply a most disheartening nightmare.

The nightmare was inspired in part by a phone date I have 30 minutes from now with the key Player in my life who has been inspired by a similar mission, saving the sacred seeds of the world . For me, saving the sacred seeds, Is a deep multifaceted metaphor. Sacred seeds are not only literal heirloom seeds but they also represent our own essence as sacred seeds --people who are inspired to live in a sacred relationship to nature. It's the very act of rekindling a relationship with growing literal sacred seeds that enlivens our own sacred seed nature.

This mission and vision to win back our sacred seeds has captivated and inspired my life for more than four years now and has inspired me to challenge my own fears in taking a long distance drive to one of the key gatherings where Heirloom seeds are honored as well as bring a gathering nexus for the gardeners who are similarly inspired by the heirloom seeds,

I truly found my place in this gathering that last three days .

Recent years it has filled me with passion for many months as I prepared personally to journeyed to this gathering as well as alert others to its existence .

Truly my life has been given meaning by finding a purpose and a niche where I found a place to give voice to my own passion and have my passion inspire others from the stage as well as playing a significant and meaningful role that is highly esteemed by the organizers of the event .

A significant degree of my disheartening situation is that except for a few rare moments a breaking free from my day today activities at home I've had for you consistent hours to dedicate to what I love so much , The promotion of my own campaign to win back our sacred seeds and in doing so outgrow GMO's.

The events at home have been consuming me for most of this year. They have taken me to the edge of my own sanity snd created a health crisis.

In my dream the key person who means so much to me came to visit me in my home. I was extremely elevated but his surprise visit. We went out to the garden together and he was showing me some of my own plants and telling me uses for them that I had never imagined.

I became very excited. There was something in the house I wanted to go get that must've been important. I left him in the garden saying I would be right back and went into the house to retrieve an object and I wanted to bring to him.

Suddenly I found myself lost in my own neighborhood in the backyard of various houses as I attempted to get back to our own meeting. it was a Profound consuming and distracting journey. In moments I forgot my purpose to get back but then I would remember. I was in a obstacle course of land mines.

I was taken away from my guest for an extraordinary amount of time until I began to imagine that he left without us having our meeting. I was very disheartened. It was then I woke up recognizing that events at my home for keeping me from what I loved most in life at this time , My mission and purpose .

What I ever get back?

How discouraging to face such an onslaught of obstacles at home one heaped upon the next .

I am sad to say I have wasted countless days unable to use my time wisely. I felt extremely dragged down. The moment I see an end in sight more obstacles are heaped upon me.

Please, please keep me in your prayers. A servant of you Manotti one steeply to serve my purpose and I cannot to balance at this time the pressing needs at home with the comfort and safety I need there to do my purpose .

7:55 am


 

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