scary nightmare
Just had a scary nightmare on an important day to decision. Much on my plate.
In my dream there were two other people.
Another person, who may have been in part me, had achieved a great gymnastic feat in the past.
I experienced myself in part doing that feat but I wasn't sure I could repeat that feat.
Today was another day and there was another athletic contest.
The athlete was a woman.
I saw her in my mind doing the athletic feat that was really well done.
There was a big question about whether the athlete could repeat the feat.
I was trying to coach the athlete but one of the other people was creating static and doubting my approach to coaching.
I doubted myself a bit. Perhaps they were right.
Then the person who had the alternative opinion came over really happy.
She announced that the athlete, rather than doing the feat, the way she had done it before completed a dive even more beautifully.
She made a swan dive off a cliff and perished. she was wearing a red outfit.
The person didn't seem to get that in jumping off a cliff and completing this beautiful action she lost your life.
I felt really like my bottom dropped out when I heard that.
It didn't seem to register to the other person who was excited.
They had not competed in the contest that was still coming up that day.
The dream woke me up with a very uncomfortable feeling.
I feel a bit shock
This is a really big day of decision
I have a really big decision to make today and I feel like I'm standing too much by myself inhaving to make it.
Where do I go from support today?
Day of decision
This is the day I am to call the office of the Kidney Surgeon and tell them I want to delay the invasive surgery that is now scheduled for January 21.
Today is january 6, 2015.
There are a number of reasons I want to delay this surgery.
1. I am dealing with persistent diarrhea this has been ongoing since June. It came upon me at a hot springs visit, almost immediately. I thought it was caused by something that upset my water balance, the heat, the temp outside that was very hot…the hot water…maybe some food I was eating…bread..There were also some stressful emotions.
Most recently, I have had two indicators that I am dealing with parasites.
When I was at Rancho La Puerta, an advisor who I trust, shared his thoughts that I would not recover well at this time from the kidney surgery.
I have lost about 12 pounds. I am down to around 110.
The diarrhea come at any time and can be explosive.
it seems to be improving a bit, the last week.
I have a medical intuitive working with me. He pulled out one remedy for virus, or so he thought, but when I looked it up, it was a specific for parasites.
I used to do some work for the inventor who makes the remedy.
It is called, VRM2 Systemic Formulas Bio Challenge
LABEL FOR VRMA2
THE DIRECTIONS FROM THE LABEL SAY
Take 1-3 capsules at bedtime. More water.
10 days on, five days off. It says four bottles to complete the program may be needed. It has black walnut, wormseed, kamala, quassia chips, bromelan enzyme, bethyl nut.
I have been taking it with meals ….this does not seem to be the way to take it.
http://systemicformulasmedia.com/biochallenge/
Stuart A Wheelwright of Ogden, Utah, was the inventor.
DESCRIPTION
Description:
#492 – VRM2 – SMALL – This herbal vermifuge formula assists and assures good health in the G.I. tract and outer tissues by helping the body eliminate small, blood based and traveling microorganisms. Usually taken for 4 cycles of 10 days on, 5 days off.1,8,11,15
http://systemicformulasmedia.com/492-vrm2/
Systemic Formulas Name/Email
1877 W 2800 S
Ogden, Utah, 84401
United States
Phone: 1-800-445-4647
HOUSE STRESS
COMMUNICATIONS…
BEING SENSITIVE TO ONE ANOTHER's NEEDS
Solution let's all do our best to do better let's all except we do the same thing from time to time let's all give some compassion to the other.
Screaming and yelling doesn't make things better.
Disturbing events at the house.
There was a disruption in the energy at the house last night.
Screaming and cussing is an inflammatory solution that hurts more than helps.
It all had to do with one housemaid leaving a dish or a pot in the sink without washing it all they went away to finish their hot meal.
Another housemate brought it to their attention some Ire in her voice. The one who left the pot in the sink started cussing and ran upstairs slamming doors they were really angry and felt that they were only doing something that the other person did as well.
I tried to intercede a bit and in doing so it only took me farther from what I need to do this morning.
I left a pot too, annA left a potato. Nadine a bowl.
W a container if juice.
BED Sore
I'm feeling irritation were my tailbone hits the bed this is a bit scary
Folded up my blanket double…see if this will help...
I need to make a serious decision today about going forward to cancel my surgery scheduled for January 21.
What I want to tell housemates.
please don't problem solve like that.
Can't afford the expense.
6:06 am
January 6, 2015
POTASSIUM CITRATE
potassium citrate was recommended by the kidney surgeon to keep the kidney stones from forming.
Tomorrow…
The one I have now, according to him, is about 21 mm, about an inch.
He told me that at the last time he did the procedure in June, that was intended to blast the stone apart, some of it left, but it appears that it reformed.
He wants to do a more invasive procedure that involves radiation and being in the hospital overnight.
I would really be turning my life over to the western procedures more than ever. There are times when I trust these procedures, but this is scaring me.
It involves placing a tube in my side that will stay there for five days.
The Potassium citrate part is also disturbing.
This is a scary issue that I have been blocking out of my consciousness but it is important.
The solution that the kidney doctor came up with to stop the kidney stones from growing was to take potassium citrate.
That didn't seem viable solution.
Potassium citrate causes diarrhea.
I already have diarrhea.
KIDNEY STONE RESEARCH
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/9-ways-to-prevent-kidney-stones.html
I am making an effort to not eat animal protein now…
I am more tired that usual..
I am also not taking my anti-inflammatory..
Need More input before I Call the Surgeon
need more input before I hame the decision?
Taking my life in my own hands.
room is too cold for winter recovery,
where is James?
abandoned br n?
WATER!
I keep forgetting to drink enough water!
This is highly recommended by the kidney surgeon.
I am suppose to be drinking 3/4 of a gallon a day.
How do I get this in?
I better portion out the amount every day from the Palomar water,
and find a way to drink this.
The water feels cold going in.
Drink water now.
RENT NEEDS TO GO IN THIS MORNING
O.K. I did this...
BLOG TO BE CONTINUED…
was working on this yesterday…but had to do other things...
http://curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2228619
HEMPY SCRUPPY
This was the last video I was watching last night before I went to bed
http://vimeo.com/75621606
NEW MEXICO VS SDSU
8 pm…
I am going to watch this on TV….
8 pm
COMMUNICATIONS…
BEING SENSITIVE TO ONE ANOTHER's NEEDS
8 pm…
I am going to watch this on TV….
8 pm