In my personal view (although not exclusive) - understanding of "self and other" is essential for healthy relationships. I only want healthy relationships in my life. Now that I have just entered my "second house" (which I have learned about with the support of "The Book of Houses" by Robert Cole and Paul Williams) which includes a number of "second house" themes like values, I am motivated to take stock of my current values, especially given the fact that we are now in a Mercury Retrograde which IMO is an excellent time for reviews.
I place a high value on healthy relationships! I have learned volumes about unhealthy relationships. The contrast/s between the healthy and the unhealthy is nothing less than the difference between living in heaven or living in hell on earth! ; - )
What makes for healthy relationships? Well, in a word: awareness, both the awareness one has gained of another yet more importantly self-awareness. Relational awareness has been a life-long learning process for me that has run continuously for over six decades of my life. I don't think I am necessarily a slow learner. If anything I have had difficulty in knowing what "doing my best" is versus a life-long conditioned tendency toward doing more than my best in an attempt to be "perfect" according to an external standard not well defined for my understanding.
For me, healthy relationships are ones that have developed through healthy stages of different "mini" relationships. Each of these stages have their own values and as such the values need to be consciously articulated in one or more ways. That articulation is part of the awareness that is needed in any stage of relationship with others.
The first stage is "Introduction". The value I find in this stage is a Foundational Knowledge of who the other individual is. Some individuals may have heightened abilities to directly acquire this type of knowledge about another without the support of any other individual or other bodies of knowledge. That can be awesome!
I require the support of additional bodies of knowledge that I can use in my introductions with others. One of these is "The Human Design System". I also use the "sacred symbols of the ancients" which Robert Camp has magnificently presented! I use additional systems as well. I have come to a place in my life where I find I do not care to meet others without first (or very soon thereafter) knowing some foundational things about them like their Human Design, their destiny path, their mission in life and their life-long challenges. That may appear to be a lot of knowledge about a new acquaintance for some people however it is only because there is always more than meets the eye when we encounter others and whether we realize it or not the "more" deserves to be known - especially if we want to have the best awareness of others.
In my "book" that awareness is essential!
May 14th, 2014 -
"... only when relationships become the playground for perfection, all resistances get out of the way and the quality of communication becomes a more important issue in intimacy than sex and money.":
http://www.yourownauthority.com/services/self-study/item/287-the-genetic-imperative-consciousness
