Contemplation and Self awareness on the fundamental relationship with life.

Date:   6/6/2012 4:32:16 AM ( 12 y ago)

When a housemate asked me this afternoon how I was doing, I thanked him; however I gave him no immediate reply but instead took in his question as if it were an invitation to do a dyad contemplation.

I then began to respond saying that all I see is change, constant change with nothing that I can settle down upon and that my response to seeing this is to back off from involvement, letting go of the content of all the change and just acknowledging that change is what's happening and allow it to do it's thing.

The housemate responded to my having said: "allow" and he said that it was a word that he has been more aware of in recent days. He expanded on that and also talked about resistance to change. Then I said "we are moving from a place of resistance to one of allowing". I noted this (for my later reference) as: "From Resistance to Allowing" and felt this is one of the most simple statements that may very well include everything that one may most fundamentally be dealing with in life and therefore something worth my writing about. At least I can see that all the conditioning of my entire life has been something that I have experienced tremendous resistance to, ... with, in and all throughout! ("Over, under, sideways, down. Backwards, forwards, square and round" and wondering: "when will it end")

I see conditioning as jam-packed with resistance albeit (for me) that resistance was very much internalized and therefore mostly unconscious! However, I now know that the conditioning had created resistance in my "self" and so much so that I had reached a point in my life (at age 19) when I counted my conditioned self as a false self, a false image that I needed to break through as if that image were a mirror that was hiding my true self underneath its surface.

In contrast, my experience with "allowing" has gradually become one of Self-allowance and then possibly extending that allowance to others. In that sense "from resistance to allowing" is the journey of my life time! I see that I can apply this perspective to my moment to moment experience of life and ask myself: "What am I resisting?" and / or "What am I allowing?".

If anger is truly about need (as Marshall Rosenberg says) then I suspect that it may simultaneously be a most acute resistance in relation to the fulfillment of that need although it seems (once again) that the resistance is unconscious and therefore most easily projected onto the other. I suspect anger is actually a former resistance that unconsciously digressed into intense resentment. I also suspect that cultivating an awareness of one's resistance and acknowledging that awareness can alleviate the resentment/anger. In any case this is something that I intend to experiment with.

Just did a search for "From Resistance to Allowing" and found this:
http://www.lifecyclecoaching.com/BeingHereNowV1.pdf

Plus:
http://www.tiffanykay.com/blog/2012/02/24/surrendering-and-letting-go/


Do we insist on resisting without allowing for our greater good?

 

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