7:05 am
February 20, 2011
Woke up with some positive thoughts this morning.
This has been rare.
I have spent many mornings in recent weeks,
perhaps months, in nightmares,
both waking and during sleep.
I have felt out of integrity with myself.
I have reached the human limits of my personality
dysfunctions.
I have been looking at things that seem impossible
and hitting my head up against a wall.
I have been bouncing off this wall, and at times
falling on my bed, even going so far as to imagine
ways that I could end this mental torment.
Some remedies have helped.
I need a lot more remedies.
I am wonderfing what I did yesterday that helped me
feel better today?
What did I do that shifted me from extreme unset
to waking up this morning with some sense of
using my positive talents to uplift me out of this
state of "environmental affairs" that seem so very impossible.
I am remember William Spear, a very special man in my life.
He is the founder of the Abundant Blessing Foundation.
He invited me to my first international workshop where
I presented back in 1998, I believe that was the year.
One of his parting words really has stuck with me.
I overcame great odds to attend that event in Connecticut
at Karpalu Retreat Center.
I had a broken knee a few days before I traveled.
It never dawned on me not to go.
I visited William in his office right before I left on crutches
to go back to San Diego.
I said, "What do you think is possible between us?"
He said, "I am not interested in what is possible between us.
I am interested in what is impossible between us."
So I want to look at what feels impossible right now
in the coming days.
I want to use my higher talents to uplift the places inside
me where I fee so utterly broken.
THE BUMBLE BEE
This is a subject I want to write about next.
I will write this up in a separate Plant Your Dream Blog.
PLANTING MY SEED DREAMS
It has been raining for days.
It has stopped raining now.
The timing is perfect.
I have the Hillcrest Farmers Market today.
I want to go early.
WHAT WERE THE THINGS THAT HELPED
ME FEEL BETTER THIS MORNING?
I do not want to forget to write this up.
That will be another Plant Your Dream Blog.
USING MY BLOG TO HELP ME PIECE MYSELF TOGETHER
I often get inspirations and have times
during the day or night when I am inspired.
They the events of the day--in response to them--
trigger the deepest feelings of despair.
I have been cultivating these feelings of despair.
It is good to look at them.
I need to do weeding in my space.
TAKING TIME TO WEED IN MY SPACE
AND IN THE GARDEN AS WELL
I did some weeding in my room yesterday.
This is profoundly like a wall to do this.
Write out these feelings.
HEALING THROUGH JOURNALING
Are there others who have been healed through
Journaling?
HELP AND ALLIES FROM THE FELLOWSHIP FOR
INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY (FIC)
I ran across a copy of "Communities Magazine."
Are there allies in the FIC that could help me
with what I am dealing with at home?
Is there a way up from here?
Are there loans?
Who sees things as see them
here at home?
RELATED
COMMUNITIES MAGAZINE
http://communities.ic.org/issues/149/Elders
UPCOMING RENTALS
How to meet the challenge of rentals?
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF WHO STEPS
FORWARD TO RESPOND TO MY ADDS
Any followups needed with Willmer,
Cole, Chris, and Abise?
How about the other person who wanted to help?
Abise and I made a date for today.
Chef Jem said...that the Love Cards are not the only
thing to look at...
WE NEED A RENTAL FOR THE LITTLE ROOM
It will be available in a few days.
The rent is $425.00
A has $200.00
What are my love card connections with A.?
Check....
JOAN...
NPEW strategy.
I need to make personal connection with her.
I need to get my confidence back.
What can help me get my confidence back.
HOME FRONT
I need a strategy regarding
P.
This is a massive energetic leak.
Take time to figure out a strategy.
Where I am at now.
Agreements we never had.
Expectations.
How to work out what?
Where do I stand regarding it?
Who can I talk to about it?
What solution would I want>
NPEW
If I had my confidence,
are the things I would be doing now
with this to prep?
CLEARING MY SPACE
Back Porch
I got benefit yesterday from clearing some things
on the back porch.
it was a relief getting down on my knees.
Is it not possible to have the repairs make there?
Where do the holes need to go so I do not have a flood
every time on the deck?
Is there a way to repair the overhang that is leaking?
STRATEGY FOR H
When is this room available?
How am I going to attract the person to rent it?
How much will it rent for?
FILM
Working on the film last night gave me positive energy.
Look at the film now.
7:38 am
February 20, 2011
ORGANIZING MY IPHOTO LIBRARY
That gives me energy.
STRATEGY WITH STAYACTIV
at THE NPEW
That was where I found StayActiv
How do get them what they want?
Find Dan email.
Update with the company.
The companies I work with are very special.
I want them to succeed.
My mission:
Leslie Goldman, Your Enchanted Gardener,
Plants Seeds of Succcess for Super RIpe People and their dreams.
I need to plant seeds of success for myself now
in My Garden Management Journal.
Dr. Bernard Jensen took his own medicine.
What is my medicine.
CRAIGSLIST
Who is the founder of Craigslist?
KEEP AN ACTIVE FILE FOR EACH SPONSOR
http://curezone.com/blogs/fm.asp?i=1772957
STRATEGY FOR CLEARING MY ROOM
What would that be?
7:53 am
February 20, 2011
One little piece at a time.
It is going to take time.