Liver flush was fine last night. Slept peacefully through. This morning coffee enema.
Today i eat. Some protein. Plain fish, steamed, or a omelette. Should go with the fish, but will prob go omelette! No huge difference either way i think. Will eat this eve to give liver a chance to recover from cleanse. Drank a good amount of oil/juice! About 230ml: 150 juice and 80ml oil.
Low on energy this morning, and have kind of cramps in my legs; as if i had been pushing myself at yoga (though i haven't seen the studio door in a while!!!!) : ) Funny, it's just my legs that seem "tired". I went on the zen chi relax-ercise machine - a great little thing - this morning, and that helped a bit.
These cleanses bring up some emotional stuff too. This morning, on my own in my apartment, i cried a little with relief/gratitude when i saw the pounds had gone down. And i have been evaluating my path, career/study-wise, all morning too. That's something i do quite often, but i tell you what, if i did these cleanses only for the clarity of mind it gives me, they'd be worthwhile. Not that i have my thoughts all sorted out, but i can definitely think with more calmness and peacefulness about everything - the small things, and the big plans.
However, i'm staying inside quite a bit, kind of retreat-like - something for which i'm grateful i can do, and which i probably won't be able to do from next year onwards - ---- i find that this lowers my self-esteem; it makes me feel like a weirdo. This site, and another weight-loss site which i frequent, are helping a LOT. Just knowing that i am not on my own in these goals and cleansing procedures!!!
I'd LOVE to be able to eat like everyone else: bread, dairy, loads of grain, everything... but my body just screams NO to that. It just breaks down. if i eat the SAD, i'm sure i'd be massively overweight now, at age 23. As it is, i'm looking fine - my goals are to bring me to the next level - but i can fully understand how all my female acquaintances and old school friends are now huge. It's the crap they eat, and it's so sad, cause they don't realise how bad it is. They are trying, kind of, to stay trim - exercise etc.
When i achieve my goal of 110 lbs, i will answer people honestly as to how i did it. At the moment i would be too embarrassed to tell people (except my family and boyfriend, who also do this stuff) about coffee enemas, for example!
Peace Out, and wishing you a healthful day.
x
5 ft 5
H (MAR 24 2010) 147.4lb
C 142.8 lb
G 110 lb
CURRENTLY to LOSE: 32.8 lb
TIMELINE
(24/03) 147 146 145 144
(31/03) 143 142 141 140
(07/04) 139 138 137 136
(14/04) 135 134 133 132
(21/04) 131 130 129 128
(28/04) 127 126 125 124
(05/05) 123 122 121 120
(12/05) 119 118 117 116
(19/05) 115 114 113 112
(26/05) 111 ***110!!!!***
Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it.
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor -
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back,
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now -
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin'
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair."
Langston Hughes, 1902-1967