Being considerate has tangible benefits.

Date:   4/1/2009 11:35:55 PM ( 15 y ago)

I have a friend here who has the potential to be a good person but he isn't one now, at least not most of the time. He could be... it seems to me that the only thing missing is that he just doesn't seem to be able to be considerate of other people. He is just making life harder for himself and everyone around him because he cannot catch on to the idea of building confidence and trust in others by simply considering other people's needs. It works, it really does, at least most of the time - I have been doing it consciously for many years, and everybody I know is willing to help me now.

Just being considerate makes all the difference. It is like "the power of positive energy", where if we smile and others see us smile it is contageous and everyone just feels better. The opposite is absolutely true too - go around miserable and complaining and other people avoid you or if they don't they will start complaining too and pretty soon we are all miserable.

On a deeper level, it is the idea of "pay it forward", or even the Kharma thing where all we create comes back, and so we would be wise, and better off, to create positive vibes. It is almost a selfish thing in that if we do it our own lives become better.

Okay, details: The guy asks me to lend him $40, but he lies about why he wants it. I caught on right away, I knew that wasn't the reason, and although I didn't care what he wanted it for it made me not want to lend it to him for two reasons: one reason is that since I cannot trust him I might not get the money back when he says he will get it back to me [but I am confident that eventually he will pay me back, he allways does], and secondly if he does not have the decency to tell me the truth then why the heck should I want to do him a favor? On top of that, he wants me to drive him to to the city 45 minutes away... but he got angry with me when I hesitated about lending him the money and hung up the phone without saying goodbye, before I could even discuss the trip. With that kind of attitude, nobody wants to help him. He has pissed off everyone he knows, and yet we all tolerate him for some reason. It is hard to believe he is over 50 years old and has not caught on to the benefits of being considerate to others.

Obviously, anyone reading this wonders why I even talk to this jerktard, but it is a small town and we all try to get along here, and the fact is that he does have the capacity to be a good guy, I have seen it, but there is just something wrong mentally with him. I feel sorry for him, and I am sure that he must be bi-polar or something, because he has shown a generous side, and I know he has gone out of his way to help others sometimes. But then he flips and become Mr.Jerktard. When I tried to tell him that he has these two sides, he got upset and denied it. I want to tell him that there would be a lot less trouble in his life if only he would recognise this trait and deal with it.

In fact, I am certain that the minute he quits jerking people around, things would get better for him. For example, I had my bike stolen about 6 weeks ago - did you read my blog post on that? - and this week a guy who I barely know brought it back to me after spotting it laying on the ground by the high school. The guy who found my bike went to the trouble of bringing it back to me because he knew it would please me, and because he knew he would feel good about bringing it back to me. The thief is living in the darker place, we are in the light, and I only wish that the thief could join us, and I wish Mr. Jerktard would too.


Furthermore, this concept of being considerate to others as a way to make life better for everyone seems to be completely ignored in international political and diplomatic relations. I am sure that if every nation was cognisant of other nation's needs, and tried to help them get what they need, then most of our problems would be easier to solve. Corporate culture demands the opposite - look after shareholder demands [as interpreted by the executives as making profits and paying dividends] and to heck with doing the right thing. I truly believe that even corporations would do better if they looked out for others, and were considerate of others, including nature. Go green, don't be mean, see the light.

Final example: I told my theory to the cute girl I keep chasing... she said "ya, I get it but it never actually works, they just steal from me anyhow". Well, no wonder it doesn't work, she has not fully embraced the idea... it takes time for things to come around.

It works for me, I got my bike back... I wonder what I did to get it stolen in the first place? No matter, there was too much snow on the roads until this week to ride it anyways. My life is better because I try to consider other people's needs.


 

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