Pissed-off mood. Feel free to comment!

Date:   12/15/2008 7:25:45 AM ( 16 y ago)

2,5kg (6) of persimmons
3,6kg (13) of pears
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€23.07

Well, made it through week 1...

Today I've had only 0,5l of pear juice today (more like pear mash, since the pears were so ripe they hardly produced any plain juice), since the beet juice and zucchini juice I brought along have gone bad. Obviously I pushed consuming my least favourites a bit too far. It's just too bad I didn't realise this until after my lunch break, but luckily I remembered our roof-top cafeteria (which I never visit due to my publically impossible dietary requirements aka the raw food enthusiasm, plus not being willing to pay thrice what home-made fresh would cost), and managed to get a few minutes off to go get 2x0,2l of pastourised four-fruit juices. Now maybe my mood will improve, although there's no actual nutrition in these to offer. I was starting to be really tired, I couldn't focus my eyes any more, and reading some blogs I started making up excuses to give up the fast today and go back on a cooked diet simply due to some lovely pictures of sushi.

By the way, does anyone know how and where to get raw olives and sun-dried tomatoes? Those in the jars in stores surely are nothing even close, right?

The weekend went fine, but to quote a conversation I'm having with a mate at the moment: "...sober, but went out. I'm more and more convinced I must leave boozing. I hate my friends when they're on the grog, and I can't be much better, either. I hate needing to support a barely walking friend to yet another bar, I hate listening to their half passed-out mumbo jumbo, I hate needing to find lost friends and call after them and worry, I hate their hangovers and hate comforting friends who have lost their stuff. And yes, this stems strongly from my own bad example.
A drink or two is fine, a little bit tipsy is fine. But I have to admit it's nearly impossible to stay within those limits.
I know how to have fun sober, but I get annoyed with idiots much easier. I also get tired usually by 1am, which should be perfectly fine. But generally I no longer see much fun in alcohol. Nothing's fun when alcohol is around. People get noisy and stupid, and I don't want to be like that.
And I don't want to befriend people like that."

I survived on some of my juices and a litre of store-bought one on Friday. I rarely drink water when out of the office, I totally forget my thirst when the bottle's not constantly next to me.

The weekend didn't bring anything new apart from clumsiness. I broke at least one glass, one really pretty candle container, and a part of a jug, and generally acted very absentmindedly.

Now I might be better, but I'm on a very irritated mood, and I'm troubled by gas.

Last night I saw another eating dream, this time about healthy stuff, though. But still, I might consider shortening my fast should I feel like I've acquired a mental state sufficient to appreciating every piece I put in my mouth, being able and willing to chew it properly, and also feast on the knowing of the process the fruit or vegetable has gone through to end up on my plate. Should I not gain that skill by the end of the planned fast then that's just too bad. But I have to remember now this fast is still not a punishment but a time to relax and concentrate. So far I'm lacking in both of those aspects. I need more time to just sit, and think. But not tonight, either, since I'm attending a Xmas carols' night in my confirmation church with an ex-colleague. I no longer belong to the Lutheran church since I came into my senses, but I do enjoy the childhood atmosphere and familiar songs.

Well, another level of pissed-offness. Better go now.

 

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