Self Talk...taking time to listen and speak lovingly to myself. Processing UPsets showing this year. More to do to Have The Best YEar Ever!!!

Date:   1/4/2008 10:31:41 AM ( 16 y ago)

8:00 AM
January 4, 07

O.K. I admit it,
12 Steppers of Curezone,
Your Enchanrted Gardener has been eating like a PIG.

I threw in the Towel.
I let some creepy ideas creep into my head
that because I did not get what I wanted when I wanted it
New Year's Eve, and then, with the San Diego Natural History Museum,
I was back in the OLD PaTTERN of overworking
working
working
working
and not getting my Money's worth.

It is a PATTERN.
I am hurt by it.
I can really fall into it.

It is the downside of Planting Dreams for me.
I really start wanting what I am Seed Dreaming about,
especially when I put in about five hours of Valuable time
writing up a proposal that has been requested.

There is no Fault. I am not blaming.
It was a Request, "how would you like to do an event....
bla...bla...bla...then...I ended up putting in a bunch of time...
but the Good Folks on the other end
went into overwhelm and could not consider anything new.

Deep down I am so sorry of this pattern...
having high hopes, based on what other's say,
and then feeling let down.

IF I am gong to CONTINUE having my BEST YEAR EVER,
I am going to have to get this WEED out my of Enchanted Garden!

This UPSET..
This gettng UPSET
this Fear that things are not going to SUcceed.
This Fear I am not going to be heard.
This Fear things are not going to work out.

It is not enough for me just to focus on what is working out.

I guess this is where Faith comes in,
the theme of the last day of Kwaanza.

Thanks to Chef Jem for reminding me
that January 6 is the last of the Holy Days of Christmas!

That is the day that the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit ends
at the San Diego Natural History Museum.

Jutta called me yesterday from work!
She wanted to personally thank me for the fun
she had the day before with the kids here.

I have permission to post some of those photos.
I would like to get permission from Maria, the other mom who was
here, before I proceed on that.

I set these photos to a track from Paris Bingo's
GETTING AWAY WITH BEING A KID. It is a lovely Tune
on his new CD,

Piggish Eating?
I was wanting some Sweetness of Life Fully Lived!
I settled for two doughnuts instead from Vons.

I better Regroup!

What are some of the things I need to do now
to have The Best Year Ever for 2008?????

1. Email Maria...get permission to post the photos on a web gallery
for Jutta.

Seed Dream: To do Ceremonies for Jutta's birthday at her birthday party.
I am invited to create this. She is going to tell her friends to bring a vegetarian
potluck, and also that she will have a gift basket....The Donations, what would be
the Gift Money, is going to me!

That is sweet!

SO there is one event on can count on and trust!
There is one event that I can prep some things for.

What is a Key for Having the Best Year EVER???

To be in the flow of giving and receiving.
TO have team players who have the time to listen,
and respond, so I can express what is hurting me.
To accept that Nothing is Wrong with me
because I am hurting.

TO get to the bottom of what is hurting.
To accept the hurt.
To realize that slowing down is basic.
To realize that doing fewer things
and doing them well is basic.
To follow organic steps, and realize
that even when I follow organic steps,
there are going to be times when
things are not going to come out,
but other things are going to happen
as a result.

This last point...has to do with Trust and Faith.
This are invisible attributes.

What are some of the other Seed Dreams I have
for this Best Ever Year?

I would like email Maria....
Oh, I will see her on Sunday.
it would not take that much time to upload the photos to
a Web Gallery. I know how to do that.

Two hours at most....
I will see Maria on Sunday...

O.k. do that, Leslie...

it is 8:20 Now.

Then, starting cleaning my space.
Declutter...

I am worth a clear Space.

How to Have the Best Year Ever?

What are my Priorities?
Having Priorities.
I need to do FIrst Things FIrst.

What are the most important things for the year?

Where to I want to show up this year of 2008?

The EVENTS in TIme and Space...The Big ones...

June 2008

Publishers conference
Dr. Jensen's birthday


February 2008


LimmudLA event in Orange County?
Deadlines to teach.


Completes....yes completes are very important
to have the Best Year Yet...

Call Richard Butcher...
He promised to renew his membership.

To DO: Make sure, I get the contact info on a person
when they join the EG CLUB.

Make sure the are in my data base.

This dropped energies leaks frustrate me and plug me into
the triggers that make me eat.

Also...patience...

I was starting to get upset because Twin Soul/Best Friend
was not responding to my calls. She did last night.
She was so sweet, even though hurting.

O.K.

What better foods do I need to eat today?

Make my Rice....that is a standard for me.

The Crock Pot Speaks: ..Thank you, that is so sweet of you
to empty me....I do not like sitting with the old stuff in me.
How about a trip to Hannie, your Arab Brother???
How about some good food from Hannie?

Saturday?
O.K. more cleanup...

What is the list of my books I want to get out this year?

Slow down, Mr. Goldman.
Please slow down!

Please get your financial structures in place.

This is Winter...Knock, Knock.

Be Still and Know...
it is Winter.

Rain...it is coming.

House things...

Call Rainbow about leak in bathroom
and in back.

Scott....get thing off the property...
what is it called...big came board.

FOCUS on a few things...

Have everything set in EG MOBILE
for Job's Tears that stays in vehicle...

Also a set in my room, so I am not moving
these structures all around.

Setting down, everything is O.K.

No need to Self Doubt.
Root that out.

celebrate the Wins, Dear one.

Thank You,
yes, be grateful.

 

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