99.99% telling me to give up and 0.01% is holding me on....
Forum: Rape Survivors Support
- 99.99% telling me to give up and 0.01% is holding me on.... by deadgirl
Okey... I know what I would like to say, but not sure how to... Just hate this. Can't even write it down, less talk about it...
I went on vacation with a few friends less than a month ago, we were hanging out, going to clubs and just enjoying everything... This one night we have been playing a drinking game and I knew I wasn't going to make it through the night if I went out with them so I stayed at the resort...
Somebody broke into the flat that night... Well, really don't know how to say this or if I even can... took a home pregnancy test and think I'm pregnant... don't know what to do? can't talk to my mother about this and don't want people to find out what happend and its just impossible to go to therapy... made an appointment, but couldn't go through with it. I know I'm totally screwed up.
I've been feeling suicidal a lot lately and cutting my wrists... Yeah I know, thats f###up but it's the only way I know how to feel something even if it's pain... I need the physical pain to be like the emotional pain.
So confused... Don't want an abortion - always said will never wish a baby away, but i don't want this kid too... Don't want it to be born... What if it's not the same colour? ...everyone will definately know then... they will know, everybody knew i never had a boyfriend... just wanted my career to work out...was brought up with high standards... Its all taken away, does it even matter if i still go on... it was the one thing i held pride in to wait till marriage... what do i do now... just want everything to end... even if it's me....
Need to know, does the police have to know about the pregnancy if the case is still open? Really need to know, and if i decide to have an abortion, will they need the remains... how does this thing work? Just need everything to stop... can't go on like this... don't want to think about it anymore... need the pain to go away... Just wish i could end all know....
Just feel like if it doesn't end by itself, i will end everything myself...
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- Girl, one thing about feeling 'down'... by fledgling
...Is that you have no idea how great you are going to feel in a little while.
Try this...get some Himalayan Crystal Mineral Salts, and make yourself a footbath.
Your skin will balance your mineral contents, both in and out, and you will feel well-grounded, peaceful, your real self.
Take a generous handful of the crystals and put them into a jug...then fill with water and leave the jug overnight.
As long as there are crystals left, unmelted, in the bottom of the jug, the water in the jug is a 26% solution--saturation. Simply top up the water whenever you take some out, and leave overnight.
Since you want your footbath, or hand bath, to be a 1% solution, take a measure of water from the jug and put in your bath container with 26 measures of warm water...and soak some of your skin in it for 20 to 30 minutes.
Then go to sleep, You'll feel much better in the morning. I found this out by following someones advice, one night when I was feeling terribly frightened.
The following morning I had forgotten my fear entirely, and I felt great walking downstairs to breakfast.
I had kept a box of the salts in my cupboard for three years, afraid to try it.
If it is truly Himalayan Crystal Mineral Salts that you have, it can't hurt you. Mine come from the distributor, http://www.heartfeltliving.com
through my local health food store.
Here is an article that tells more... http://www.curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=378721#i
Once you are feeling well-grounded, your choices will seem easier, and much more satisfying.
There will be no need to keep questioning and second-guessing yourself again and again.
You make your choice and carry out your own wishes.
Life doesn't always take the turns we expect, but, when we are well-grounded, we see our options more clearly.
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