uh oh...

Date:   11/18/2006 12:09:20 PM ( 18 y ago)

So yesterday (day 11), I don't know what happened to Mr. Will Power. I seriously can't believe that this happened!! What happened, you ask? Well, I had this urge to bake, so I made this pumpkin butter cake since, you know, it's around Thanksgiving. Well, I had every intention to bake it, and then immediately pawn it off on my friends. Well, I was taking it out of the pan, and it was definately still too warm. So a piece was all broken and ugly. I sat there staring at it, and then just decided to eat it. So I ate a piece. Then I panicked. One, I thought my body wasn't going to be able to handle it and I was going to get sick. Two, I had been absolutely PERFECT for 10 1/2 days. Why now? I'd even wanted food way worse before, and still managed to tell myself no. Why did I do it? Three, I'd felt so damn confident in myself and my abilities to make it to 14 days 24 hours prior! What happened??? So, needless to say, that night I felt physically sick (just a little upset tummy, nothing major), but more so sick at myself, that I couldn't continue! Then this morning I decided that 10 days is a valid accomplishment, and today I would start to break the fast. So I've had some orange juice and a BM where some solid stuff came out! That was a weird feeling!

I can't help feeling disappointed in myself, but I have to remind myself from time to time that 10 days is still a very long time to go without eating solid food. I just hope some of my bad eating habits have been cured for the long run. I realize that this is still going to take some work on my part, but I hope this kick start to better eating habits works, at least a little, even though I ended it badly.

 

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