soothing

Date:   10/13/2006 12:01:52 PM ( 18 y ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbrTZVRdfIw

Somehow I know that
There's a place up above
With no more hurt and struggling
Free of all atrocities and suffering
Because I feel the unconditional love
From one who cares enough for me
To erase all my burdens
And let me be free to

[chorus]
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need you now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of you by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray you'll come and carry me home

Can we recover
Will the world ever be
A place of peace and harmony
With no war and with no brutality
If we loved each other
We would find victory
But in this harsh reality
Sometimes I'm so despondant
That I feel the need to

[chorus]
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need You now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You'll come and carry me home

I need You right here right now Lord
I need You right here by my side
Keep your head to the sky
With God's love you'll survive

Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need you now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side

Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You'll come and carry me home
Carry me higher, higher, higher
Carry me higher, higher, higher
Carry me home
Higher Jesus
Carry me higher Lord

I feel sad, wistful, nostalgic. I miss him so much. I miss his touch, taste, smile, kiss, sunglasses....I don't know if he knows. It must confuse him why a gal like me is in his life, someone struggling with an illness, trying to grow up and hitting so many lows while doing her best. Do I disappoint him? Does he think lowly of me now? Does he think I am manic? Does he think I am trying to find excuses? He has not left, though I have tried to beg him to leave so many times before. He has waited so patiently, never complaining or grudging. He even said he will wait till I fully recover. I hate me sometimes, everything about me, life and me. I feel so angry and disillusioned at myself, even blame myself as deserving for my downfall. And Satan seems omnipresent. My ignorant foolish parents are his accomplices and they help him create traps for me to hurt my recovery. The pain of my heart. The pain in my flesh. All just too much to handle. I just want to be close to him, just lay in his arms. I miss him so much.


 

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