Was this the Make It or Break It moment?

Date:   7/12/2006 7:36:27 AM ( 18 y ago)

Today was a breakthrough.

I woke up and immediately had a BM, which seemed par for the course lately. I can't say I felt terrific, but I didn't feel bad either; I was just... awake and getting ready for work. I wished that I would have some turning point to make this all so much easier but none came; it was indeed just Day 7 of my first 10 day MC.

Nothing much changed about my routines at work. Same amount of energy, same amount of, well, enthusiasm about the day, which is to say there wasn't very much lol. And then the clock struck 1pm, and I think I hit a critical point in the fast.

My stomach was cramping and my back ached. My head wasn't clear and I felt, I don't know, sluggish. I had a slight headache... are these detox sympoms? It was getting worse and worse, and I was cold! I knew I was stuck at work for another 3 hours and I couldn't get comfortable in my chair at all, despite all the adjustments I was making. What on earth was going on here? I keep hoping that the rough days were behind me but it seemed as though this was the point I needed to overcome; this is the breaking point. Well, at least that's what I kept telling myself to encourage myself to stay focused. It was all I could do to sit still in my chair and try to frickin' work.

At one point I thought even if I did give up right at that instant, what would I do? Eat? No, I knew I couldn't do that, and that's not what I wanted anyway. I just wanted relief, so in a way I had no choice but to persevere through whatever my body was wringing itself through. It was unfortunate I was at work; I thought about maybe leaving early so I could lay down but I knew this had to pass... and around 4pm it did.

Everything picked up after 4. I was slowly returning to 'normal', whatever that might be at this stage. I left work in good spirits at 4:30 and was thankful it was over. I made it through whatever that was!

I got home and flopped on the couch... and then a funny thing occurred to me.

I went to the bathroom and unbelieveably, I had just started my period. So in the middle of ALL THIS I didn't even think to remember my cycle. The cramping was part of my cycle, not anything the fast was doing. I nearly laughed out loud... and shook my head as I thought, hey, why not heap one more thing on top of this week. :) Still, it was a sense of relief to figure out what some the commotion was.

The rest of my night was fine- maybe even more than fine. I ran errands while my BF made himself dinner and I got home and relaxed on the couch to some TV and couch-cuddles from the dogs. I had my lax tea and made my way to bed.

I really and truly believed I made it over the mountain; everything from here on out will be smooth sailing. Finally.
 

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